Season: Three — Episode: 15 Director: Keith Powell — Writer: Eric Ledgin — Aired: March 15, 2018 — Viewers (millions): 3.93 Summary: Glenn and Dina offer amnesty to all the employees for any bad things they confess so Garrett and Cheyenne try to decide how to take advantage of it. Meanwhile, Jonah and Amy try to defuse an awkward situation that has the whole store gossiping.
I told ya, you take away the punishment, you find out what people really are.
In the Break Room, the staff laugh at a video on a loop of Amy and Jonah kissing. (♫ Boots Randolph - Yakety Sax ♫) Cheyenne asks Kelly if she hates Amy now which she denies. Isaac kids that Amy and Kelly are going to have a "cat fight". In the store, Mateo tells Cheyenne that he revealed his undocumented status to Jeff who left without commenting on it. He's worried that Jeff has reported him but Cheyenne doesn't think this has happened. Corey kiddingly points out where the condoms are to Amy and Jonah. Amy is sick of the constant kidding which is made worse when Justine and Isaac arrive and tease them more.
It's porn music.
In Glenn's Office, Glenn can't believe Amy and Jonah kissed as he considered them good people and compares their actions to adultery. Dina tells Glenn that people are monsters and that he'd be shocked what they would admit to doing if the threat of punishment was removed. To prove her point, in the Break Room, Dina announces that a staff member has committed a fireable offence and if the person comes forward, total amnesty will be given. The staff are reluctant until Dina swears on her birds that no one will be told of the offences. A customer bowls down an aisle and knocks down a product display. (♫ Twisted Sister - We're Not Gonna Take It ♫) Cheyenne and Garrett realize that they have until day end to break a store rule and get amnesty. Cheyenne ponders wearing a hat or stealing a boat.
I swear on my birds.
Mateo leaves Jeff a voice mail asking if he's done anything now that he knows about Mateo's undocumented status. A customer approaches Glenn and Dina complaining that no one is working cash. To Dina's delight, they find a mob of staff outside Glenn's Office waiting to confess offences. Mateo goes first and is evasive concerning his undocumented status. Jonah catches Amy eating her lunch in the Stock Room to avoid staff teasing. He relates that if they join in on the kidding, it'll stop. Sandra interrupts them and teases them with a sexual hand gesture which she gets wrong. Isaac goes next and admits to stealing shopping carts to stage homeless fights which he films. (♫ Fatboy Slim - Apache ♫) Corey admits to smoking weed and drinking on the job. Myrtle confesses to stealing gum.
I go to the Cinnabons and go nuts.
Sandra admits to paying four guys to ask Carol out and then stand her up and Carol admits to doing things to Sandra's lunch. Myrtle's story continues with an explosion at a factory her uncle worked at. Isaac finishes his story which causes Glenn to exclaim that he can't believe the amount of depravity going on in the store. Cheyenne and Garrett read the employee handbook but can't find any rules they'd like to break. Carol approaches Kelly and tells her she supports her over Amy in any troubles with Jonah. She then offers to do something to Amy's car or her daughter Emma which scares Kelly causing her to back away. Corey teases Amy and Jonah that he can leave them alone with a bed but they go along with the teasing and end up accidentally kissing so Justine runs off to tell everyone.
Most days I don't even wear underwear.
In the Warehouse, Jonah tries to explain the kiss to Kelly. A video created by Sandra of Amy and Jonah's kiss which is a parody of the a-ha "Take On Me" video is shown on the store's TVs which Amy admits is impressive. (♫ a-ha - Take On Me ♫) In the Break Room, Glenn introduces Pastor Craig to deal with the souls of the staff. He tells everyone God hates sin but loves sinners. He approaches Sandra and asks about her wanting to kill Carol which she admits to. He sympathizes with her frustration but when Sandra goes into detail on how she plans to kill Carol, he is shocked. A kiss cam parody of Amy and Jonah's kiss is shown on the store's TVs. (♫ Vengaboys - We Like to Party! ♫) Pastor Craig finishes his session which Glenn is disappointed with. Dina is happy as her point is proved that without punishment, people will do what they want.
Blow out the sin!
Glenn admits there was no fireable offence and now believes that all people are monsters. Mateo asks if Jeff said anything and deflects Dina's question. Glenn recalls various things staff have admitted to which causes Amy to protest that kissing Jonah wasn't adultery and, that she thought they were about to die. Cheyenne reminds Glenn he was praying to Allah during the tornado for which Pastor Craig says everyone makes mistakes and looking at Amy and Jonah, that all have lust in their hearts. They deny any lust so he counters that he senses something going on with them. Jonah points out he's dating Kelly and admits he had a crush on Amy years ago. Amy admits she had a crush on Jonah which surprises him. They both awkwardly try to explain the attraction away which no one believes. Sandra verbalizes the situation which causes Kelly to swear at her.
At one point I had a crush on Jonah!
Amy approaches a group of staff who are opining whether Jonah should be with Amy or Kelly. She tries to kid about the Jonah situation but it falls flat. Dina tells Glenn that destroying his world view has been the highlight of her year. Glenn asks Garrett if he committed any offences and when Garrett admits to none, Glenn calls him good and kisses him on the head. Dina finds Glenn's ability to delude himself impressive. Jonah apologizes to Kelly and tells her that even if his and Amy's crushes had been at the same time, he'd still be with Kelly. They agree to move in together and hug as Sandra approaches them wearing a "Team Amy" shirt. At Coffee & Bakery, as Mateo leaves a voice mail for Jeff's boyfriend Chad looking for Jeff, Jeff surprises Mateo and tells him he quit his job. Mateo realizes Jeff hasn't reported his undocumented status. He asks Mateo out for a drink and they leave hand in hand.
I quit my job.
Amy's name tag: Amy wears a different name tag in every episode. For this one it's "Kelsey".
Crazy Customers and music: For all customer interludes and music see Amnesty (music).
Emma gets a job at the store and Amy asks Jonah for parenting advise. Garrett and Dina argue over who broke up with whom, a cute construction worker flirts with Mateo, Cheyenne and Carol for store perks; Kelly has a rough first day. (Viewers: 4.33 million)
After an attempted robbery, tensions arise between Dina and Jonah. Glenn has a tough time firing a store security guard and Amy discovers her coworkers have been hanging out without her. (Viewers: 4.20 million)
A dead body is discovered in the store on Halloween, throwing Glenn and Dina into a panic and confusing the shoppers. Amy and Garrett get into big trouble using a dating app on Jonah's phone, Mateo is transformed in more ways than one by Cheyenne. (Viewers: 4.61 million)
As Mateo turns to stranger and stranger home remedies for an ear infection, Amy and Jonah decide to offer an alternative to Cloud 9's terrible health insurance plan. Glenn enlists Dina to help him get medical attention for his own embarrassing condition. (Viewers: 3.54 million)
Trying to prove how wild she can be, Amy turns a boring Christmas Eve at the store into a holiday adventure. Jonah and Garrett's roommate issues boil over and Glenn tries to prove to Mateo that Christmas is more than just fine. (Viewers: 4.41 million)
After an employee posts a controversial video online, Dina enlists Cheyenne to help police the rest of the staff's social media accounts. Amy learns something about Jonah that drives her to desperately pursue Instagram views, and Glenn suspects Mateo of rewards card fraud. (Viewers: 3.90 million)
When Amy throws a party to prove how great she's doing post-divorce, she's forced to enlist Dina and Jonah's help, and Dina ends up making the ultimate sacrifice. Glenn and his wife Jerusha are forced to conduct some personal business at Amy's home. (Viewers: 3.85 million)
When Jeff announces that the store could be getting an upgrade, Amy, Jonah and Dina set out to discover the pros and cons. Cheyenne accidentally volunteers to be a surrogate mother for Glenn's baby and tries to get out of it. (Viewers: 3.71 million)
Amy finds herself caught in the middle of a conflict between Cheyenne and her ex-convict mom, Brandi. A personal agreement between Glenn and Dina gets heated when Glenn brings in a lawyer. When Jonah finds out that Kelly believes in angels, Garrett's perfect weekend plans of having the apartment to himself are threatened. (Viewers: 4.22 million)
Still fresh from her divorce, Amy doesn't feel ready to start dating again. But when Mateo tries to set her up with his loser cousin, she gets determined to show everyone she can do better and breaks some hearts in the process. Dina takes advantage of her pregnancy to scam Glenn into accommodating her every whim. (Viewers: 3.46 million)
When gamers invade the store for the release of a hot new video game, Jonah tries to help Amy secure herself a copy of the game, which takes them on an unexpected adventure. Mateo helps Garrett make a good impression on one of his heroes. Glenn and Sandra try to stand up for themselves with customers and end up instigating a breastfeeding "nurse-in." (Viewers: 3.38 million)
When Mateo gets injured, Jonah tries to help him avoid Cloud 9 compensation for fear of his immigration status being revealed. Meanwhile, Amy attempts to convince everyone that she likes Kelly. (Viewers: 3.37 million)
Glenn and Dina offer amnesty to all the employees for any bad things they confess so Garrett and Cheyenne try to decide how to take advantage of it. Meanwhile, Jonah and Amy try to defuse an awkward situation that has the whole store gossiping. (Viewers: 3.93 million)
When Jeff leaves Cloud 9 to work at Target, Garrett leads Glenn to believe that he's poaching other employees to go with him. In return Glenn tries to poach employees from Target. Amy goes on a double date with Dina and, Kelly and Jonah discuss moving in together. (Viewers: 3.85 million)
Laurie, the new district manager, visits the store and decides to make some cuts to save money by firing Myrtle. Amy and Jonah plead with her to not fire anyone and search for other ways to make up the money. Mateo struggles to prove his skills on the cash register. (Viewers: 2.94 million)
When local small businesses set up shop inside Cloud 9, Glenn tries to help his wife Jerusha sell her handmade needlepoint, despite Jonah's concerns that he's pressuring his employees. Meanwhile, Amy doesn't feel Latina enough when a guy flirts with her in Spanish, and Garrett tries to uncover the truth behind a beer vendor's product. (Viewers: 3.17 million)
As lottery mania sweeps the store, Dina incentivizes the employees to sell as many tickets as possible. Jonah helps Amy track down the new district manager to lobby for a raise. (Viewers: 3.08 million)
The store hosts a gender reveal party for Glenn and his wife Jerusha, just as Dina is freaking out at the realities of having to deliver a baby. Amy receives some unsettling news. (Viewers: 2.76 million)
As the store prepares to host a company-wide Town Hall meeting, Amy and Jonah are forced to put their conflicts aside and rally their co-workers to confront the CEO. Glenn struggles with the pressure of speaking to a global audience. (Viewers: 2.97 million)