Season: Three — Episode: 7 Director: Todd Biermann — Writer: Eric Ledgin — Aired: December 5, 2017 — Viewers (millions): 4.41 Summary: Trying to prove how wild she can be, Amy turns a boring Christmas Eve at the store into a holiday adventure. Jonah and Garrett's roommate issues boil over and Glenn tries to prove to Mateo that Christmas is more than just fine.
Would you like Santa to bring you a real gift or a passive-aggressive one?
Dina catches Glenn finishing a nativity scene which Glenn tries to pass off as a "winter barn display". To get Glenn to admit the truth, Dina starts drop kicking the wise men but when she picks up Baby Jesus, Glenn grabs him in horror and admits the true nature of the display. As the staff are helping Glenn with Christmas lights, Mateo comments that Christmas is over-hyped which dismays Glenn. Glenn opines that Christmas is about looking back at the year's events which leads the staff to remember the many bad things that have happened. Amy mentions her divorce and her desire to be crazier in the new year which everyone scoffs at. Gregg mops and watches a movie on TV. (♫ Bobby Helms - Jingle Bell Rock ♫)
Way over the line Dina.
Outside the store in the bitter cold, an elderly charity worker with a reindeer is criticized by Dina for his bell ringing and being too close to the door. Glenn tries to get Mateo in the Christmas spirit by taking him to a hot cocoa station in the store but Mateo doesn't want any. Marcus and Corey are caught by Amy sneaking sips from a flask. They think she is going to discipline them but to prove she can be crazy, she takes several pulls from the flask. Garrett gives Jonah a gift and Jonah is genuinely touched by the gesture and acknowledges the tension in their relationship since he moved in with Garrett. Jonah finds out the gift is a bath mat and Garrett criticizes Jonah's bathroom habits. Jonah then snidely offers to give Garrett noise-cancelling head phones as a gift so he'll stop banging on the bedroom wall. They trade barbs and the situation is left tense.
For the puddles by the shower.
Staff are gathered around the cocoa station listening to Sandra talk about Jerry's condition. Amy arrives with Marcus and Corey in tow, spikes the cocoa urn and declares a party and herself to be "Craymie" (crazy Amy). Various staff are seen drinking and playing cups. (♫ Chuck Berry - Run Rudolph Run ♫) Outside the store, Dina says it's too cold out and takes the reindeer in the store while leaving the elderly charity worker outside. At the party, Amy is telling stories of antics she pulled in high school which no one believes. She threatens to call Adam who will vouch that she stole a car in high school. When she calls using speaker phone, she finds to her surprise that Adam is at Bridgett's, the mom of one of her daughter Emma's friends. She hangs up in embarrassment and the staff feel bad for her. The reindeer escapes from a post Dina tied it to inside the store. (♫ José Feliciano - Feliz Navidad ♫)
A Craymie Christmas party.
Garrett and Jonah are again arguing about each other's room mate habits when Kelly interrupts them and asks where the store Santa is. Garrett says he's in the drunk tank and Kelly implores them to fill in as a young boy and his Dad drove an hour to see the store Santa. Amy, Cheyenne and Dina are looking at Bridgett's social media page. Cheyenne and Dina are amazed at how attractive she is. The reindeer is in produce eating apples. (♫ Brenda Lee - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree ♫) Determined to show Mateo Christmas is more than fine, Glenn spots a soldier, Hank, and a pregnant woman kissing. Believing this to be a magical moment, he asks about them and finds out Hank accidentally shot a service animal and the baby may not be his. Mateo drags Glenn away as the couple argue. Garrett dresses as Santa and Jonah is his elf. The young boy sits on Garrett's lap and Jonah uses the opportunity to insult Garrett which results in them trading barbs on their room mate habits again until Kelly stops them by taking a picture.
Say candy cane!
Having drunk more, Amy tells Cheyenne and Dina that she wants to go to Bridgett's house to confront Adam. Cheyenne and Dina offer to come and since they are drunk, they ride store scooters. (♫ B. Lloyd - Heavy ♫) At the party, Justine offers crushed Adderall to be sniffed off her boobs but is rebuffed by Marcus. The ladies arrive at Bridgett's house. Amy plans on knocking on the door to see the look on Adam's face until Cheyenne points out that she's stalking him. Amy realizes her mistake and tries to leave but the battery is dead on her and Cheyenne's scooters. As they try to escape on Dina's, Adam and Bridgett open the front door and confront Amy.
Glenn drags Mateo to see the child on Garrett's lap and improve his Christmas spirit but they witness the end of Garrett and Jonah's argument punctuated with Jonah stomping off and kicking a giant candy cane. Seated at the kitchen table in Bridgett's house, Amy makes an excuse that they are there to get Adam to confirm that Amy stole a car in tenth grade. After Adam confirms it, Dina confronts Adam as to why he's at Bridgett's and he announces that they are seeing each other. Amy is uncomfortable and wants to leave but their scooters are charging. In the Stock Room, Kelly comforts a frustrated Jonah. They realize they have a lot in common and bond. The reindeer is watching the movie White Christmas. (♫ Bing Crosby - White Christmas ♫)
Maybe we should be room mates.
Leaving Bridgett's house, Amy is embarrassed to have gone. The ladies hear music start up inside the house so Amy grabs a Christmas lawn ornament which Cheyenne and Dina copy. As they ride off on their scooters, Adam and Bridgett come outside and watch them leave. The ladies enter the store on the scooters and trumpet their stolen loot. In the Stock Room over drinks, Jonah thinks his gift to Garrett should be a night off from each other. Kelly proposes they go to a dive bar she knows and flirts that if they hit it off, he might end up at her place. The reindeer is messing Glenn's desk up. (♫ Vaughn Monroe - Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! ♫)
The ladies with their loot.
Sitting in the store, the staff compliment Amy's antics. Jonah discretely tells Garrett he won't be home that night and no one sees him leave with Kelly. Glenn gets the store Christmas lights working and the dazzling display puts Mateo into the spirit. Amy notices that Jonah is missing. (♫ The James Hunter Six - This Is Where We Came In ♫) Jonah and Kelly leave the store laughing as Jonah jokingly warns her that he went to college on a pool scholarship. Sandra gets good news that Jerry is out of his coma. Since no one is sober enough to drive her to the hospital, she takes a store scooter. (♫ Joy to the World ♫)
Carol's plan didn't work!
Amy's name tag: Amy wears a different name tag in every episode. For this one it's "Grasiela".
Dina thinks riding the store scooters on a road is like the movie Wild Hogs.
Glenn tells Mateo he'll cheer up when he sees a child's face light up at the sight of Old Saint Nick.
Garrett sarcastically compares Jonah's cooking to Bobby Flay.
Kelly tells Jonah that he looks like a disgruntled Keebler elf and that she takes her trash out when it topples over like a Jenga tower. Jonah tells her he ran into trouble with his Eddie Bauer Discover card.
While loose in the store, the reindeer is watching the movie White Christmas.
Emma gets a job at the store and Amy asks Jonah for parenting advise. Garrett and Dina argue over who broke up with whom, a cute construction worker flirts with Mateo, Cheyenne and Carol for store perks; Kelly has a rough first day. (Viewers: 4.33 million)
After an attempted robbery, tensions arise between Dina and Jonah. Glenn has a tough time firing a store security guard and Amy discovers her coworkers have been hanging out without her. (Viewers: 4.20 million)
A dead body is discovered in the store on Halloween, throwing Glenn and Dina into a panic and confusing the shoppers. Amy and Garrett get into big trouble using a dating app on Jonah's phone, Mateo is transformed in more ways than one by Cheyenne. (Viewers: 4.61 million)
As Mateo turns to stranger and stranger home remedies for an ear infection, Amy and Jonah decide to offer an alternative to Cloud 9's terrible health insurance plan. Glenn enlists Dina to help him get medical attention for his own embarrassing condition. (Viewers: 3.54 million)
Trying to prove how wild she can be, Amy turns a boring Christmas Eve at the store into a holiday adventure. Jonah and Garrett's roommate issues boil over and Glenn tries to prove to Mateo that Christmas is more than just fine. (Viewers: 4.41 million)
After an employee posts a controversial video online, Dina enlists Cheyenne to help police the rest of the staff's social media accounts. Amy learns something about Jonah that drives her to desperately pursue Instagram views, and Glenn suspects Mateo of rewards card fraud. (Viewers: 3.90 million)
When Amy throws a party to prove how great she's doing post-divorce, she's forced to enlist Dina and Jonah's help, and Dina ends up making the ultimate sacrifice. Glenn and his wife Jerusha are forced to conduct some personal business at Amy's home. (Viewers: 3.85 million)
When Jeff announces that the store could be getting an upgrade, Amy, Jonah and Dina set out to discover the pros and cons. Cheyenne accidentally volunteers to be a surrogate mother for Glenn's baby and tries to get out of it. (Viewers: 3.71 million)
Amy finds herself caught in the middle of a conflict between Cheyenne and her ex-convict mom, Brandi. A personal agreement between Glenn and Dina gets heated when Glenn brings in a lawyer. When Jonah finds out that Kelly believes in angels, Garrett's perfect weekend plans of having the apartment to himself are threatened. (Viewers: 4.22 million)
Still fresh from her divorce, Amy doesn't feel ready to start dating again. But when Mateo tries to set her up with his loser cousin, she gets determined to show everyone she can do better and breaks some hearts in the process. Dina takes advantage of her pregnancy to scam Glenn into accommodating her every whim. (Viewers: 3.46 million)
When gamers invade the store for the release of a hot new video game, Jonah tries to help Amy secure herself a copy of the game, which takes them on an unexpected adventure. Mateo helps Garrett make a good impression on one of his heroes. Glenn and Sandra try to stand up for themselves with customers and end up instigating a breastfeeding "nurse-in." (Viewers: 3.38 million)
When Mateo gets injured, Jonah tries to help him avoid Cloud 9 compensation for fear of his immigration status being revealed. Meanwhile, Amy attempts to convince everyone that she likes Kelly. (Viewers: 3.37 million)
Glenn and Dina offer amnesty to all the employees for any bad things they confess so Garrett and Cheyenne try to decide how to take advantage of it. Meanwhile, Jonah and Amy try to defuse an awkward situation that has the whole store gossiping. (Viewers: 3.93 million)
When Jeff leaves Cloud 9 to work at Target, Garrett leads Glenn to believe that he's poaching other employees to go with him. In return Glenn tries to poach employees from Target. Amy goes on a double date with Dina and, Kelly and Jonah discuss moving in together. (Viewers: 3.85 million)
Laurie, the new district manager, visits the store and decides to make some cuts to save money by firing Myrtle. Amy and Jonah plead with her to not fire anyone and search for other ways to make up the money. Mateo struggles to prove his skills on the cash register. (Viewers: 2.94 million)
When local small businesses set up shop inside Cloud 9, Glenn tries to help his wife Jerusha sell her handmade needlepoint, despite Jonah's concerns that he's pressuring his employees. Meanwhile, Amy doesn't feel Latina enough when a guy flirts with her in Spanish, and Garrett tries to uncover the truth behind a beer vendor's product. (Viewers: 3.17 million)
As lottery mania sweeps the store, Dina incentivizes the employees to sell as many tickets as possible. Jonah helps Amy track down the new district manager to lobby for a raise. (Viewers: 3.08 million)
The store hosts a gender reveal party for Glenn and his wife Jerusha, just as Dina is freaking out at the realities of having to deliver a baby. Amy receives some unsettling news. (Viewers: 2.76 million)
As the store prepares to host a company-wide Town Hall meeting, Amy and Jonah are forced to put their conflicts aside and rally their co-workers to confront the CEO. Glenn struggles with the pressure of speaking to a global audience. (Viewers: 2.97 million)