 Due to an employee error, very expensive electronics are pricing out at 25¢. This mistake is being corrected, so...stock up quick!
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| — Garrett, "Pilot". |
Garrett McNeill was an employee at Cloud 9 Store 1217. He is also the store announcer. He is charismatic, and peppers jokes into his announcements. He is sarcastic but honest and very likeable. He is good friends with Jonah, Amy and Cheyenne. Garrett is a paraplegic. He describes himself as "lazy" and once admits to only doing the bare minimum to not get fired. He'll often withhold information for his own benefit and plays pranks on staff. He is portrayed by actor Colton Dunn.
Contents
Character History
Season One
Oh what an experience it must be, moving around the store on wheels.
On Jonah's first day of work, Garrett gives him advice on how to get by at the store. He also tells him that Amy is the floor supervisor. At the end of the day, Garrett invites him to play a prank on some garbage men. When a Photographer from corporate magazine "Stratus" visits the store, Garrett successfully evades having his picture taken, resenting that the magazine likes to feature disabled employees. He relents when he sees how much Glenn wants to be on the cover and has his picture taken with him. Garrett warns Jonah to not help other store staff as they are "quicksand" and he is proven right when Jonah ignores his advice. Garrett initially joins Amy in pranking Jonah by dressing up a mannequin that looks like Jonah in a costume but when Amy starts ignoring her work duties to continue the prank, Garrett points out she has a "work flirt" going which Amy denies. Garrett appoints himself the judge when both Mateo and Cheyenne want a discounted sofa an elderly man, Charles, died on. When the staff are on alert that a secret shopper may visit the store, Garrett messes with Mateo and tells him the shopper might be a store employee. During the store's sales competition, Garrett is on Team Red but switches when Team Gold wins in order to collect $100. When the staff are locked in the store for the night, Garrett challenges Glenn liking everything in the store and eventually causes Glenn to have an angry breakdown. Garrett messes with Jonah when he won't tell Dina that he doesn't want to date her and gives Mateo bad advice for his assistant manager presentation. Garrett discourages Jonah from forming a union but after Glenn is fired, he enthusiastically leaves the store, mainly because he's for any reason to not work.
"Pilot": Garrett, Jonah and Glenn race shopping carts in the parking lot on Jonah's first day of work. He also tells him that Amy is the floor supervisor. At the end of the day, Garrett invites him to play a prank on some garbage men.
"Magazine Profile": When a Photographer from corporate magazine "Stratus" visits the store, Garrett successfully evades having his picture taken, resenting that the magazine likes to feature disabled employees. Garrett constantly rolls away from the Photographer and when the camera is pointed at him, he holds his middle fingers up so that the pictures will be unusable. He relents when he sees how much Glenn wants to be on the cover and has his picture taken with him.
"Shots and Salsa": Garrett makes an announcement in which the information for salsa samples and flu shots is mixed up. Garrett advises Jonah to not help out people in the store as they are "quicksand". Jonah ignores him and Garrett is proven right when pharmacist Tate makes Jonah do his job for him. Garrett isn't happy when Amy and Jonah both have misunderstandings that result in the staff watching a racism training video. He comments that the guy who voiced MC Cool Cloud in the video committed suicide in 1994.
"Mannequin": In the Break Room, Jonah keeps inadvertently saying inappropriate things and Garrett keeps telling him to "eject" (shut up). Jonah doesn't, which results in several arguments. Garrett and Amy think a mannequin looks like Jonah but when he doesn't agree, the play pranks with the mannequin by dressing it up in various costumes with Jonah's name tag on it. Garrett mimics Jonah with the mannequin and says "I like to eat croissants". Amy takes the prank too far and ignores her work responsibilities. She asks Garrett to complete the shift assignments but he'd rather eat lunch. When Garrett and Amy catch Jonah dressing up a sex doll to look like Amy, Jonah tries to change the subject but Garrett won't let him.
"Shoplifter": Garrett tries to wake an elderly white man, Charles, who is asleep on a store sofa by yelling but Jonah finds he's dead. Garrett says he's apathetic about the death in the store. Garrett appoints himself the judge when both Mateo and Cheyenne want a discounted sofa a man died on. His creates a contest which is a prank as only he knows the sofa has to be destroyed. Jonah asks Garrett's advice on maxipads for women's periods but Garrett is more interested in having a pizza for lunch.
"Secret Shopper": Garrett leads the staff in watching a video of a secret shopper that was sent to another store. He argues with Dina that the character Decker from "Blade Runner" wasn't a replicant. An attractive woman asks Garrett for help with men's hats and while enthusiastically serving her, Mateo interrupts and says Garrett is a rapist. The woman leaves and Mateo explains that he is putting down staff to make himself look good in case any customers are the secret shopper. Garrett lies that at one Cloud 9 store, the secret shopper was an employee which concerns Mateo. Mateo thinks the shopper is Jonah and buys food to suck up to Jonah which Garrett ends up taking. Garrett identifies the secret shopper who is taking notes beside him at customer service. He watches the secret shopper's video of their store and laughs as a runaway forklift chases Mateo down an aisle.
"Color Wars": Garrett doesn't care about the stores's sales competition and tried to miss work to get out of it. He is on Team Red and notices that Amy, who is on Team Gold is taking the competition seriously. When he finds out each member of the winning team gets $100, he makes an announcement on the P.A. system that the Team Gold members are all violent ex-cons. He gets several customers to buy expensive items (e.g. bikes) over cheaper versions by saying that the cheaper versions caused the accident that put him in a wheelchair. He switches to Team Gold when they win the competition and then reads the writing on the cakes at the party.
"Wedding Day Sale": To take Cheyenne's mind off Bo leaving, Jonah and Garrett help her shop for wedding items but become competitive over the item selection. Garrett likes traditional items while Jonah likes the opposite. Things come to a head as the argue over a green versus a white wedding dress but Cheyenne thinks both dresses are ugly and picks out her own.
"All-Nighter": Garrett plays heavy metal music over the P.A. system to get a lingering customer to leave. When the staff are locked in the store for the night, Garrett challenges Glenn liking everything in the store and eventually causes Glenn to have an angry breakdown. When the staff start drinking, he puts music on the P.A. system and races against Amy. When the store is unlocked in the morning, he says he's going home to play some video games.
"Demotion": Garrett asks Jonah why Dina is constantly glancing at Dina and he tells Garrett. When Dina steps down as assistant manager Garrett asks Jonah the reason in front of everyone to put Jonah on the spot but he doesn't answer. At customer service, Jonah explains to Garrett that he can't tell Dina how he feels because he has a hard time giving people bad news. To toughen him up, Garrett asks him to continually say no to a customer with a return. The customer is totally reasonable and has everything required but Jonah won't give him a refund. The customer storms off and Garrett admits it was just a lark. Garrett sees Mateo creating a presentation for assistant manager and decides to have some fun with him. In the Break Room, Mateo's presentation has turned into a life story that Garrett says needs "sizzle". Mateo's presentation now has a rap portion which Garrett says can go bigger. After Jonah tells Dina he doesn't want to date her, Garrett stops Jonah from trying to go to the makeup counter to talk to Dina about the breakup.
"Labor": As Cheyenne goes into what will turn out to be false labor, Garrett asks over the P.A. system is there's a doctor in the store and then asks for anyone whose watched a lot of medical shows. He also films the labor. In the Break Room, Garrett tells Cheyenne he wishes he had as good an excuse that she has to ditch work. He grabs Jonah's phone before he can sent everyone an article on paid maternity leave. When Jonah starts talk of forming a union, Garrett says that the staff can't even agree on a theme for the summer BBQ. As Cheyenne is giving birth for real, Garrett films it again. After Glenn is fired, he enthusiastically leaves the store, mainly because he's for any reason to not work.
Season Two
Okay dude, I'm the black guy in a wheelchair. I'll decide who the bigots are.
Dina ropes Garrett into helping her plan the store's closing Olympics ceremony. She has outlandish ideas which he keeps trying to make more realistic. Dina fires him from planning the ceremony and when she pulls off an awesome show, he takes partial credit for it. Garrett is on the picket line during the staff strike in order to get Glenn his job back. He meets an attractive though bigoted women named Nikki who he decides to have sex with and change her point of view. Garrett is terrorized by a crow that invades the store but in the end makes peace with it before Mateo kills it. Garrett makes Dina follow store rules after she won't change his time sheet. Garrett dresses as James Bond for Halloween and when Dina wears a sexy costume, he finds himself torn between physical attraction and repulsion due to her personality. Garrett and Jonah bet which temp worker will quit first. Once Garrett sees Jonah actively trying to make his pick quit, Garrett does the same with Nick. Garrett saves Black Friday and in admiration, Dina kisses him and invites him to the Photo Lab for sex. When the heating malfunctions, Garrett hides out in Glenn's Office as it has a.c. He's joined by Dina and bored, they pass the time by having sex twice but express revulsion for each other. During the store's Wellness Fair, Dina reveals to everyone that she and Garrett have been having sex. Jeff asks Dina and Garrett to fill out a disclosure forum and they have difficulty defining their relationship. The day the tornado hits the store, Garrett becomes increasingly angry that Dina openly shows she doesn't care more about him than others. After the tornado, they're both glad the other survived.
"Olympics": During the store's Olympic opening ceremony, Garrett carries pet food. During the fire, a woman approaches Garrett wanting to return some socks, he throws her receipt in the fire and rolls away. When Glenn asks Garrett's ancestry, he jokes that he is Norwegian and Swedish. After Dina doesn't find good candidates in an audition for the closing ceremony, Garrett tries to temper her plans and she fires him from planning the ceremony. Amy gets frustrated with Cheyenne believing Missy Jones dream card technique is that writing anything on a card will make it come true, she says if it is true, then Garrett could walk. Amy regrets saying this and Garrett sarcastically writes "walk" on a card and says it didn't work.
"Strike": After the walk-out, Garrett tells Glenn not to help a customer trying to load bags into her car. After Amy and Jonah come back from talking to Jeff, Garrett tells everyone to "go with it" as Amy talks and says she's dressed like Barbara Bush. On the picket line, Garrett notices an attractive woman, (Nikki), who's not an employee. He rolls up to her, makes a joke and they connect over a mutual video game interest. Later, Jonah notices Nikki in the anti-trans protest group. Garrett says he knew there had to be a catch with her but he hoped it would be something he could live with. To scare off shoppers, the strikers go into the store and Garrett uses the P.A. system to warn customers about spiders in produce, a powerful raccoon and bedbugs in the store. Garrett asks Nikki about how serious she is about "all this trans bathroom stuff", hoping he can change her mind. He tells Jonah he's going to have sex with her and see if he can educate her on tolerance.
"Back to Work": Since district manager Jeff Sutin is still in the store, Amy asks everyone to be at their most professional. Garrett makes an announcement on the P.A. system that beef products are 80% off and then asks the shoppers to consider why the store would do that. To show he's a "hard-ass" boss in front of Jeff, Glenn pretends he doesn't like Garrett and nearly cries. Garrett is among those who Amy gives instructions to find the guacamole with Marcus' thumb and asks what flavor it is. Garrett starts digging through customer's purchases in search of the thumb and when it is found, he calls out "strawberry jam" on the P.A.
"Guns, Pills, and Birds": Garrett keeps a list of Jonah's elitist habits. A crow invades the store and dive-bombs Garrett which terrifies him. Garrett wants to kill the crow because they are "dirty, flying dinosaurs" but Dina wants to get it out of the story safely. He watches as Dina and Mateo try to throw a tarp over the crow but it flies away. They lay a trail of bird seed out the door but this attracts a murder of crows into the store. Jonah refuses service to all customers at the gun counter to spite Amy so Garrett tells him to just have an affair instead of fighting. A number of crows descend towards Garrett so he hides in a tent but there is one inside already that he battles with. Later, Garrett is having fries when a crow lands on the table and starts eating them. He's startled but starts to like the crow. He reads the list of Jonah's elitist habits to the crow.
"Spokesman Scandal": To mask the news report of the company's spokesman Kyle the Cloud 9 Cloud being accused of killing and eating people, Glenn asks Garrett for a beat while the rest sing a song. As Jeff talks in the Break Room about Kyle, Garrett asks if he also was also evading paying taxes. He tells Cheyenne the difference between a zombie and a cannibal. While looking at pics of Cheyenne's baby, Mateo asks for an opinion especially from Garrett because he "tells it like it is". Cheyenne overdoes it showing Garrett and Sandra videos of her baby which Garrett says has to stop. He finally snaps at Cheyenne who is fine not showing pictures and then makes fun of Garrett's obsession with sneakers.
"Dog Adoption Day": Garrett makes a point of not volunteering when Glenn asks for some. Garrett forgets to clock in and Dina won't adjust the time sheet, citing store rules. Garrett starts to track all of Dina's actions to ensure they follow the rules. He times her lunch break causing her to eat fast and burn her mouth. He won't let her go to the bathroom a second time since it's only allowed once per shift. Once Dina's shift is done, Garrett won't let her use the bathroom until she buys something. She vows revenge but as they compare schedules, they realize they won't see each other for several days.
"Halloween Theft": Garrett can't stop staring at Dina who is dressed in a sexy costume but denies attraction due to her personality. As he's making an announcement on the P.A. system, Dina walks towards him and he's so distracted, he trails off. Dina tells him he looks sick. Garrett asks Jonah to cover for him if Dina asks for him. He admits how torn he feels about her. Dina catches Garrett in the men's washroom and asks why he's been avoiding her and why he can't look at her. Dina interrogates Garrett and when she leans over in front of him, he's so frustrated that he lies and says he stole the irregular produce to stop the interrogation.
"Election Day": Garrett sarcastically calls Amy crazy for suggesting they create a pamphlet promoting a pro-worker candidate on 2016 election day. Garrett announces on the P.A. system that everyone should vote for super train. He sells Mateo his "I Voted!" sticker and does not want to hear why.
"Seasonal Help": Garrett and Dina bet which temp worker will quit first and when Jonah refuses to join in, Garrett makes fun of him, affecting an English accent so Jonah joins in. Garrett gives Jonah his winnings and they start another pool. When Amy tells everyone that Glenn said that her marriage was in a bad state, Garrett is one of those who makes up an excuse to leave. After Garrett sees Jonah actively trying to make his pick quit, Garrett does the same with Nick by playing "Cat's in the Cradle" over the P.A.
"Black Friday": Garrett makes a P.A. system announcement comparing the chaos of Black Friday to the movie The Purge. Garrett delays working a checkout counter by describing movie plots. When everyone comes down with food poisoning and wants to leave, Garrett rallies everyone and saves the day. In admiration, Dina kisses him and invites him to the Photo Lab for sex.
"Lost and Found": Since they had sex, Dina tells Garrett she isn't interested in a relationship, to not be weird, which he agrees with. However, various circumstances make it appear is he interested in her. Garrett pulls a video of "Murder She Wrote" from the lost and found bin. Dina's continuous criticism of Garrett's lack of coolness concerning their fling results in him exploding on her in front of many customers.
"Rebranding": As Rex is showing a video of Jonah making a presentation in college, Garrett makes fun of Jonah's hand gestures and speech patterns. When Sandra lies about a relationship with Jeff, it's Garrett that encourages her to give everyone details.
"Ladies' Lunch": On a slow day at the store, Garrett and Jonah invent a game using a "taped muffin". Jonah says he's having a lot of fun with Garrett which Garrett doesn't want him to ever repeat. They add blockers and baskets and it turns into a store-wide game amongst the guys. Garrett does the play-by-play on the shoot-out between Jonah and Marcus.
"Valentine's Day": Lisa misses Miles' proposal as Dina says she's in the bathroom. Garrett asks if it's a quick bathroom break or more of a hunker-down, YouTube situation. Cheyenne tells Garrett that Mateo is dating Jeff and Sandra is making up a relationship with Jeff. As Sandra sends herself gifts faking they are from Jeff, Mateo is jealous so Garrett tries to add to his jealousy.
"Super Hot Store": Garrett enters Glenn's office to see how he's progressing fixing the heat problem. Glenn has turned on the AC in his office and Garrett notices how cool it is. He convinces Glenn to fix the problem on his own and Glenn leaves. Dina finds Garrett in Glenn's office and stays to enjoy the cold but they get on each other's nerves until Garrett suggests they have sex. Bored, Dina and Garrett pass the time by having sex again. Dina compliments Garrett on his sexual prowess and says she'd have sex with him in the future but finds the rest of him repulsive. He agrees and insults her back.
"Wellness Fair": When Amy learns the secret that Mateo is dating Jeff, Garrett advises her to stay out of confronting Sandra about her saying she's dating Jeff. Dina gives Garrett a bag of condoms and says he's free to use them with anyone he chooses but she may like to as well. Garrett again unsuccessfully discourages Amy from getting involved in the love triangle. Later, Amy teases Garrett about having sex with Dina so he tells Dina that Amy was playing hooky from work the day before. Dina reveals to everyone that she and Garrett have been having sex.
"Integrity Award": When Glenn announces a company integrity award (one per store) and the winner attends a buffet dinner, Garrett fakes not understanding the concept of buffet to annoy Glenn. Garrett rescues a veteran's dog from the snow which threatens Glenn's chance of winning the award. Glenn talks to Garrett about the award and since Garrett doesn't care about it, he announces on the store's P.A. system that he doesn't want to be nominated. In Glenn's Office, corporate praises Garrett over the phone which results in Glenn deriding him. Out of spite, Garrett makes an announcement that he will accept nominations for the award. Glenn is complaining to Garrett that him saving the dog has taken him out of the running for the award. They both get teary but don't know why and later their noses start to bleed. They evacuate the store, their symptoms caused by Mateo releasing too many bug bombs in the Break Room.
"Mateo's Last Day": At customer service, Jeff gives Dina and Garrett disclosure forms to fill out since they are having casual sex. Dina and Garrett are struggling with choices on the form that describes their relationship. Garrett doesn't care but Dina calls corporate. On the phone with corporate, Garrett doesn't care which relationship box they check off until corporate mentions that this means there is some attraction implied. Corporate doesn't understand Dina and Garrett's relationship so they have to explain it is only sex with no knowledge of each other's lives. Many from corporate are now on the call and the proposed solution is to add a new box to the form. However, Dina and Garrett don't know what to label the box. In the Break Room, Dina and Garrett poll the staff for suggestions on a label for their relationship but aren't very successful. Dina and Garrett tell corporate they'd like the box describing their relationship labelled as "other". Corporate signs off and celebrating their victory, there is a spark between them that they both quickly hide.
"Glenn's Kids": Glenn brings his foster kids to work and as Cheyenne is watching one them, Bobbie Sue, she turns away to talk to Garrett. When she turns back, Bobbie Sue is gone and she begins a frantic search. In the Surveillance Office, Cheyenne and Garrett are looking for Bobbie Sue when Dina catches them and offers to join in the search. Garrett makes an announcement on the P.A. system that there's free candy at the front for Bobbie Sue and an Asian man named Bobby Suh presents himself to Garrett and ask for the free candy. In the toy department, Dina, Garrett and Cheyenne set up a trap baited with candy and make toddler calls over the P.A. system. Cheyenne says she'll have to tell Glenn she lost Bobbie Sue when she comes into sight caught in the trap. Dina tries to take credit for the trap but Garrett tells her to let Cheyenne have the credit.
"Spring Cleaning": Amy and Garrett find photos that were never picked up that they think might have belonged to a past employee. Amy has turned the search for the photo owner into a full blown investigation that Garrett says is getting into "Carol territory". Glenn makes Jonah his assistant and Garrett loves the cloud tie Jonah now wears. Garrett and Amy run into a dead end trying to find the owner of the photos until they see pictures hanging in the store - she's a model.
"Cheyenne's Wedding": At the wedding hall, Glenn is looking at the wedding gifts with Garrett and lamenting their cost. He reveals to Garrett that he's been told to lay off six workers and asks him to keep it a secret. Garrett sarcastically encourages Glenn to invite Jeff to Cheyenne's wedding. During the ceremony, Myrtle comments on Bo's attire and Garrett lies that Bo is a woman. When Cheyenne enters, a woman motions for Garrett to stand up. At the reception, Garrett is the announcer. After Glenn's announces that Jeff has told him to fire some staff, Garrett asks who's ready to do the chicken dance.
"Tornado": Jonah confesses to Garrett that he told Amy she is sexy at Cheyenne's wedding and is trying to find a way to deal with it. Dina tells Garrett her job is safe and he's put off that Dina doesn't care whether he's going to be let go or not. He's angrier when Dina won't give him an extra baseball helmet to protect him from the coming tornado. When the tornado hits, they are holding onto shelving and Garrett yells that she should have given him the helmet because there is an emotional component to sex. After the tornado, they both say they are glad the other survived.
Season Three
I wasn't trying to be helpful.
During the store's re-opening, Garrett reluctantly invites a homeless Jonah to live with him. Jonah goes to great lengths to find out what caused Garrett's disability which he won't reveal. Garrett offers Dina a break from their relationship which she uses to say she broke up with him. At Halloween, Garrett is dressed as Prince Akeem Joffer from "Coming to America" and tries to get Amy to tell the truth when she meddles with a dating app on Jonah's phone. When Jonah tries to create a health fund, Garrett rolls in on Dina examining Glenn and sees his penis. Jonah and Garrett's roommate issues come to a head on Christmas Eve. Garrett tries to leave Amy's disastrous Golden Globes Party several times. He volunteers to be acting assistant manager but finds that not taking the job seriously has consequences. Garrett meets a gaming voice actor idol of his Erick, and is uncharacteristically uncool around him. Garrett ominously tells Marcus he'll hurt him at work so Marcus will get compensation but it'll be a surprise when. Annoyed that Jeff calls him incompetent, Garrett and Glenn try to poach staff from Target. Garrett gets local vendor Jess to admit that she's passing off retail beer as craft and then asks her out. Garrett loses the information on the gender of the baby Dina is carrying for Glenn and Jerusha and to cover his mistake, admonishes everyone for defining the baby by its sex. He tries to dissuade Dina and Glenn from making a staff video but when he sees it is a success, tries to take credit for it. Garrett sets up a hidden camera for the Cloud 9 town hall which Jonah unknowingly brings into the Photo Lab after the town hall where it broadcasts Amy and Jonah having sex to all Cloud 9 stores.
"Grand Re-Opening": Jonah reveals he's homeless and as Garrett rolls by, Cheyenne suggests that Jonah move in with him. Garrett is clearly uncomfortable with the suggestion and makes excuses why Jonah can't move in. In the bathroom, Garrett rolls in and sees Jonah washing his upper body in the sink. Jonah explains he can't shower in the mornings in the FEMA trailer and looks at Garrett expectantly. Garrett stares back and rolls into a stall. Glenn confides to Garrett that he's nervous about his grand re-opening speech which Garrett takes to mean that it's due to Glenn's high voice. In the parking lot, Garrett has Glenn use a voice modulator that makes his voice sound low but still funny. After the re-opening, Garrett sees Jonah talking to Glenn about staying with him, so he relents, says Jonah can live with him and then starts listing the rules he has to follow.
"Brett Is Dead": Jonah starts wondering how Garrett became disabled but Amy doesn't know. Amy asks Jonah and Garrett if they notice anything odd with Dina's behavior but neither do. Jonah asks Sandra if she knows how Garrett became disabled. As she starts to reply, Garrett interrupts them and asks what they are talking about. Sandra tells a very believable story about Jonah asking questions on BBQing burgers and Garrett leaves. In the Break Room, Glenn holds a session to deal with Dina's anxiety over the tornado. Jonah points out Garrett hasn't shared but he says he's led a blessed life. Sandra starts to say she lived in a pet cemetery but Jonah interrupts and wants Garrett to elaborate. He says he fell off a horse and fell on his neck but walked away. In the Warehouse, Garrett messes with Jonah by pretending to be sad that he saw a motorcycle that was responsible for his disability (which isn't true). Jonah knows Garrett is messing with him so Garrett explains that he doesn't want to reveal what caused his disability.
"Part-Time Hires": At customer service, Dina tells Garrett that she hasn't been having sex with him as she's dealing with her anxiety issues and seeing a shrink. Garrett offers to take a break from their relationship which she accepts. In the Break Room, Cheyenne, Glenn and Justine try to console Garrett as they heard from Dina that she dumped him. He's outraged and says it was a mutual decision. They shake their heads sadly at him. Garrett confronts Dina over her telling everyone she dumped him when he thinks it was he who suggested the break but isn't able to change her opinion. Garrett brings his problem to Jonah who is overly enthusiastic and this results in Garrett turning away. Jonah seeks Garrett out at customer service and apologizes for not being able to help and suggests they plan a roommate movie night over a few beers. Garrett isn't impressed with this plan so over the P.A. system tells everyone it was his idea to break up with Dina and that she's seeing a shrink, which he immediately regrets saying. Garrett apologizes to Dina who tricks him into getting back together and then she immediately breaks up with him and announces it over the P.A. system.
"Workplace Bullying": At customer service, Garrett complains to Glenn about store security guard Ken, who slept in and missed the robbery. Glenn hates confrontation and is reluctant to fire him. Later, Garrett sarcastically tells Glenn he's good at firing employees as they watch Ken manhandle a customer. Dina challenges Jonah to a fight and as they leave store grounds, Garrett points out to Jonah that he's in a no-win situation. Jonah refuses to fight Dina and when Garrett interrupts to film the up-coming battle, Dina blind-sides Jonah and tackles him to the ground.
"Sal's Dead": At Halloween, Garrett is dressed as Prince Akeem Joffer from "Coming to America". At Customer Service, Jonah is looking at a dating app on his phone with Garrett. Amy takes Jonah's phone and accidentally matches him with Kelly. Amy continually tries to fix the problem without facing Jonah or Kelly while Garrett provides sarcastic advice. Garrett and Amy then watch as Kelly seemingly stabs Jonah and scream but then realize it's a ruse.
"Health Fund": In his office, Glenn looks up "mole penis" on the internet and is shocked by the image results. Garrett comes into the office for his review so Glenn slams the monitor down and tells him to come back later. As Dina examines a mole on Glenn's penis, Garrett rolls in as she's taking a picture. He rolls away stunned and mumbling. Garrett is in Health Fund group B (who have to pay more) because Jonah says he eats too many Cheez-Its for one stomach. Garrett gives Mateo a collection jar full of money to cure his ear infection.
"Christmas Eve": Garrett gives Jonah a gift and Jonah is genuinely touched by the gesture and acknowledges the tension in their relationship since he moved in with Garrett. Jonah finds out the gift is a bath mat and Garrett criticizes Jonah's bathroom habits. Jonah then snidely offers to give Garrett noise-cancelling head phones as a gift so he'll stop banging on the bedroom wall. They trade barbs and the situation is left tense. Garrett and Jonah are again arguing about each other's roommate habits when Kelly interrupts them and asks where the store Santa is. Garrett says he's in the drunk tank and Kelly implores them to fill in as a young boy and his Dad drove an hour to see the store Santa. Garrett dresses as Santa and Jonah is his elf. The young boy sits on Garrett's lap and Jonah uses the opportunity to insult Garrett which results in them trading barbs on their roommate habits again until Kelly stops them by taking a picture. Glenn drags Mateo to see the child on Garrett's lap and improve his Christmas spirit but they witness the end of Garrett and Jonah's argument punctuated with Jonah stomping off and kicking a giant candy cane. Jonah thinks his gift to Garrett should be a night off from each other. Jonah lets Garrett know he'll be sleeping elsewhere that night and then leaves the store with Kelly.
"Viral Video": Glenn shows Garrett that a mass email he sent to the store's rewards (Blue Card) customers resulted in many being undeliverable which makes him suspect that Mateo is committing fraud in order to get the $1 sign-up bonus. Mateo reveals to Garrett that he has been creating fake Blue Card accounts. Amy tries to get Garrett and customers to look at her posted video. Garrett and Jonah watch five of Amy's videos which are over-the-top. Jonah and Garrett watch Amy's latest video in which she's in the store's kitchen and derides social media as she's gotten tired of how pointless and self-centered it is.
"Golden Globes Party": In the Break Room, Jonah, Mateo and Garrett are placing bets on what will happen at that evening's Golden Globe Awards. Justine asks where they'll be watching the Awards and Amy is surprised as she always hosts a party for it. Amy assures everyone her life is fine, that she'll host and will be BBQing. At Amy's house, she cloyingly asks Garrett and Mateo if they are having a good time and insists they call the party drinks by names she's made for them from TV and other cultural references. Kelly tries to bond with Dina, Garrett and Mateo but doesn't know any of the famous commercials they are referring to and ends up alienating herself. Garrett tries to fix Amy's TV but finds many calculators in her TV remote basket. With no TV, no food and Kelly trying to teach everyone a confusing game, Mateo and Garrett have had enough and lead everyone in leaving. Dina stands up and yells that everyone has to stay, stop complaining and have fun. Everyone sits down in silence and banging noises can be heard coming from Amy's bedroom. Everyone feels like hostages and Garrett pleads for someone to talk loudly and drown out the sounds of sex coming from Amy's bedroom. At dinner, Amy says to dig in but the sight of the meat puts everyone off. Garrett and Sandra make excuses that they'd rather start with buns and coleslaw. The party over, outside Kelly is overjoyed when Garrett and Mateo invite her to a restaurant to watch the Golden Globes after parties.
"High Volume Store": Garrett is in the Break Room as Jeff announces that $80,000 more sales by day end will result in the store being re-classified as "quadruple A". Garrett cares more about Jerusha's abnormal uterus until he learns that if the store is rated "Quad-A", it'll get a Pizza Hut. In order to help sales, he sells merchandise to a minor who is using a credit card and passing himself off as an adult. After Amy, Dina and Jonah visit the "Quad-A" Crestwood Store and learn that becoming "Quad-A" is not desirable, Garrett still wants to achieve the rating until Amy tells him that staff can't have pizza from the store Pizza Hut. To discourage sales, Garrett makes an announcement there is a carbon monoxide leak in the store. In the Break Room, as the staff sit depressed and try to accept the store will be "Quad-A", Garrett reminds everyone that the store is currently crappy.
"Angels and Mermaids": Kelly asks Jonah which puzzle he'd like to do during their weekend away at a cabin. Garrett is excited that he'll have the apartment to himself as his best friend Randy will be coming over to play video games which makes Jonah jealous. Jonah tells Garrett about Kelly believing in angels but Garrett is more interested in his weekend plans. To convince Jonah of the existence of angels, Kelly recalls a story from her childhood in which she was saved from drowning by one. The staff listens raptly and are moved but Jonah believes the "angel" was a hotel guest. Not believing Kelly in front of the staff results in her calling off their weekend away which concerns Garrett as it will ruin his plans. Jonah again talks to Garrett about his angel problem with Kelly. Garrett forcefully points out Kelly's good points which Jonah accepts over his suspicions that Garrett doesn't want his weekend ruined. Jonah leaves to convince Kelly to go away on the weekend. Garrett gets on the phone and tells Randy their plans are back on.
"Groundhog Day": Glenn shows a picture of the embryo implanted in Dina to Jonah and Garrett which Garrett thinks looks like Elias. Since Dina is relaxing, Glenn asks for a volunteer to be assistant manager for the day. Garrett takes the job when he finds out he can hook up an Xbox in the Surveillance Office and Jonah offers to take over announcements. In the Surveillance Office, Garrett is playing video games and allows Sandra to leave work without considering the consequences. Soft lines is a mess which Garrett realizes is because he let Sandra leave. Glenn tells him to take care of it. Over his protests, Glenn tells Garrett he is once again acting assistant manager and that Jonah and Kelly will do announcements. Garrett is taking his manager duties seriously and snaps at Sandra. He gives her the job and she smiles.
"Video Game Release": Inside the store, Dina announces the release of a new video game "Barbarians Gate 3" to the staff. Garrett, an avid gamer, meets Erick Evans who does voices on many video games. He's uncharacteristically nervous around Erick and is too strong in his admiration for him. Garrett sees Mateo talking to Erick and wants to know everything they said. Mateo repeats their small talk in a mocking manner. Garrett gets a coffee for Erick and tells personal details about him which results in an awkward silence. In the Break Room, Glenn discusses the "nurse-in" protest by breastfeeding mothers. Earl unsuccessfully tries to get support from Garrett that women should breastfeed in private. Dina thinks it's disgusting that Garrett will have sex with women but won't drink their milk. At the Pharmacy, Garrett butters up Mateo and asks for help becoming friends with Erick. In the Break Room, Mateo has arranged for he and Garrett to have a beer with Erick. Erick says the situation is cool but Garrett breaks down and rants that it's not cool as he isn't comfortable with his own hero-worshipping of Erick. He insults Erick and leaves. Mateo says to Erick that Garrett actually is the cool one in the store.
"Safety Training": Marcus tries to convince Jonah, Garrett and Mateo to invest in human cheese but Mateo is distracted by a customer he likes. Garrett asks if he'll have to stop eats normal cheese if he invest and Marcus says yes. Garrett is with some staff who gather around Mateo as he is icing his wrist. Garrett catches Marcus on a ladder and finds out he's trying to get injured but is too scared. Marcus asks Garrett for help and he accepts. In the Stock Room, Garrett ominously asks Marcus to climb into the box crusher while holding the start button. Marcus can't climb into the box crusher and says Garrett is freaking him out. Garrett says it's because Marcus knows the accident is coming. Garrett says he'll strike when Marcus has totally forgotten about him arranging for an accident and that he won't relent even if Marcus says he doesn't want to get hurt. Marcus is terrified. Garrett watches the video of Amy kissing Jonah when the tornado hits the store.
"Amnesty": In the Break Room, the staff laugh at a video on a loop of Amy and Jonah kissing. Garrett tells Amy they're doing this because working at the store is incredibly boring. After Dina and Glenn announce amnesty for any past wrong doings, Cheyenne and Garrett realize that they have until day end to break a store rule and get amnesty. Cheyenne ponders wearing a hat or stealing a boat which Garrett derides. Cheyenne and Garrett read the employee handbook but can't find any rules they'd like to break. In the Break Room, Glenn introduces a guest speaker, Pastor Craig to deal with the souls of the staff. Garrett points out they've never had a guest speaker. When Cheyenne mentions she's wearing a hat in violation of the dress code, Garrett makes a face. Dina tells Glenn that destroying his world view has been the highlight of her year. Glenn asks Garrett if he committed any offences and when Garrett admits to none, Glenn calls him good and kisses him on the head which Garrett doesn't find cool.
"Target": In the Break Room, Jonah and Kelly are looking on a laptop for a place to move in together but Jonah continually finds fault with all the options which Garrett finds annoying. Garrett enters Glenn's Office and asks Glenn for a raise but Glenn is so worried about Target that he rebuffs Garrett. Garrett lies that Jeff offered him more money to work at Target so Glenn calls Jeff and leaves an angry voice mail that they need to meet. Jeff arrives for his meeting with Glenn and is intercepted by Garrett who unsuccessfully tries to get him to dispense with the meeting. Jeff marches into the store and standing on a movable ladder, asks who'd like to join Target. Glenn tries to sing over Jeff's speech while Justine and Sandra express their admiration for Target. Sandra offers to go to Target and Glenn gloats that Jeff can't poach Garrett. Glenn and Garrett visit the Target Jeff said he works at intent on poaching staff. Glenn and Garrett try to poach a number of Target employees but are unsuccessful. They approach a staff member from behind adjusting a baby stroller and Glenn screams when Cheyenne turns around. At Target, while eating popcorn, Glenn commiserates with Garrett that they work at an inferior store. Owen, a Target employee, tells them they can't eat on store display furniture but Cheyenne explains that they are her friends. Owen's heard Cheyenne speak of Glenn but not Garrett.
"District Manager": Mateo approaches Garrett and Cheyenne worried that new district manager Laurie will see his low score at checkout. He claims Garrett's score is better than his from all the video games Garrett plays and then insults sci-fi, angering Garrett. At checkout, Mateo can't get the scanner to work on a food can. In the Break Room, he expresses his frustration to Garrett and Cheyenne. Garrett convinces him to change his checkout stats on Glenn's computer. In Glenn's Office, Garrett accesses Mateo's personnel file on Glenn's computer and changes his checkout stat (UPM score). Mateo wonders if the score is now too high but Garrett convinces him to make the score impressive. Laurie approaches Cheyenne, Garrett and Mateo about Mateo's very high UPM score. Garrett suggests that Mateo should demonstrate his checkout technique and Mateo realizes Garrett has set him up for failure due to him insulting sci-fi. At a checkout, Mateo stalls demonstrating his scanning technique while Garrett films him with his phone.
"Local Vendors Day": Garrett and Jonah browse vendor's tables but Garrett isn't impressed with any. He sees an artisanal beer table which he pans until he sees the cute proprietor Jess. Jonah teases him that he's interested in Jess which Garrett denies. Garrett tries a sample of Jess' beer which he says tastes like Bud Light. She says his palate needs to adjust. Garrett has Jonah try one of Jess' samples and he believes it's Bud Light too. Garrett won't admit to caring about Jess despite Jonah teasing him. Garrett tells Jess that Jonah thought her beer was Bud Light too and that he'd respect her if she was ripping people off but she continues to deny it. Jess tells a customer details about how she makes her beer until Garrett interrupts and yells out it's Bud Light. The customer leaves and in private, Jess admits to Garrett that she is passing off Bud Light as craft beer. Garrett appreciates the honesty and then to her amazement, asks Jess out.
"Lottery": Garrett relates his lottery dream would be to own Jordan sneakers that Michael Jordan has worn. Sandra watches as Garrett shows disinterest and rudeness to a customer who can't decide on what lottery numbers to pick and leaves without buying one. As Glenn gives a Cloud 9 personal budgeting session to the staff, he uses a fictional employee to demonstrate who Garrett thinks is Pennywise. A customer annoys Garrett by picking the numbers (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42) from Lost which Garrett won't let him play. After Dina watches Garrett turn away a lottery customer, she uses Sandra to trick him into giving better service by lying that the seller of a winning ticket gets $5000. Garrett isn't convinced but starts selling briskly. A huge line-up of lottery players forms in front of Garrett. The staff and customers watch the lottery draw on the store's TVs. Sandra tells Dina that they sold the most lottery tickets and as suspected, Garrett finds out there was no bonus for selling a winning ticket. No one at store wins and Garrett realizes he turned away a customer with the winning numbers.
"Gender Reveal": Glenn is tempted to open the envelope with the info on the gender of the baby Dina is carrying so he gives it to Garrett with orders not to tell him the contents. Kelly and Sandra ask Garrett for the envelope so they can put the correct color of jelly beans in a piñata baby but Garrett can't find the envelope and won't admit to losing it. Garrett calls the obstetrician's office to find out the sex of the baby and fakes Glenn's high voice. The office doesn't believe he's Glenn angering Garrett as he believes his impression was spot on. In the Warehouse, Garrett has several staff searching through the trash for the envelope. At the gender reveal party, Glenn cuts the cake. Everyone's disappointed that the filling doesn't reveal the baby gender. Sandra says Garrett was supposed to take care of the reveal but when Glenn questions him, Garrett admonishes everyone for defining the baby by its sex in order to deflect attention away from him losing the envelope.
"Aftermath": Garrett makes an announcement about Mother's Day coming up. After Dina and Glenn learn that the store is on the short list to host a town hall with Cloud 9's CEO, they interrupt Garrett making an announcement about a missing child to tell all staff to meet at the store front for a group photo. In the Photo Lab, Dina, Garrett and Glenn look at the group photo. Dina and Glenn decide that a staff video is needed which Garrett thinks is excessive. Glenn over-rides Garrett's concerns and gets a rare compliment from Dina. He participates in filming Cheyenne and Mateo and is seen in the video delivering his line without enthusiasm. Once he sees the video is a success, he tries to take credit.
"Town Hall": Garrett recites his rules for dating and living with co-workers to Jonah while they watch Kelly dump Jonah's clothes on the store floor. In the Break Room, as Laurie goes over the forbidden topics at the town hall, Garrett thinks CEO Neil has hunted people for sport. Garrett catches Glenn worrying about speaking at the town hall and wolfing down antacids. As they do the math on how many people could be watching, Glenn's anxiety increases. In the Warehouse, Amy and Jonah share their discovery that Cloud 9 is unfairly firing older employees with a number of staff. Garrett corrects Cheyenne that that Todd isn't the fourth oldest employee and pokes holes in their plan including asking how Jeff will be snuck into the town hall. Cheyenne and Mateo makes plans to disguise Jeff to sneak him into the town hall while Garrett rigs up a hidden camera which is patched into the Cloud 9 camera feed so if the Cloud 9 camera is turned off, they'll still have a camera running. He hides the camera in a flower stand on stage. As the town hall is ending, Garrett texts Amy and Jonah to hurry and arrive with an incriminating email on Cloud 9's ageist policy. He tries to keep Jeff on topic at the town hall but Jeff betrays everyone and lies that Myrtle was fired because she was a gang member. After the town hall, Jonah unknowingly brings the hidden camera into the Photo Lab where it broadcasts Amy and Jonah having sex to all Cloud 9 stores. Garrett notices the broadcast in the store and tells everyone.
Season Four
This is the most boring secret I've ever had to live with.
At Amy's baby shower, Garrett tells Jonah he knows they are in a relationship. A Halloween novelty song drives Garrett crazy. He gets frustrated when he can't think of hilarious jokes for Amy and Dina's baby cards. Garrett and Jonah have difficulty finding a good seasonal employee to hire. Garrett and Dina engage in a bet over who can smile the longest, leading to hurting each other. Stuck with taking care of Glenn's daughter Rose, Dina and Garrett inadvertently create a store daycare. Garrett lets Dina's birds escape when she brings them to the store and deals with the guilt of not admitting it to her. Cheyenne and Garrett have difficulties dealing without their phones at work. Garrett tries to ruin Glenn's positive attitude about being a floor worker. Garrett tells two customers that Jonah is his best friend. At Emma's quinceañera, Dina believes Garrett is infatuated with her. Garrett's "Team Yogurt" battles Jonah's "Team Soup" in a scanner duel. Discovering Garrett was the one who let her birds escape, Dina burns all of Garrett's valuable, vintage sneakers. In retaliation for Sandra trying to start a union, Cloud 9 Headquarters has ICE visit the store. Garrett and the staff lie that they don't know who Mateo is but he's ultimately arrested.
"Back To School": As Isaac and Marcus tease Jonah for the sex tape he inadvertently made with Amy, Garrett is happy with Jonah's new nickname "J-Bone." As Jeff appeals to him and Cheyenne why Mateo is angry at him, Garrett points out that Jeff had Myrtle fired to get a corporate job. As Jeff asks what he can do to make the staff love him again, Garrett and Cheyenne say the staff never loved him. He makes sarcastic comments as the staff try to guess what Jeff's surprise is. At the harassment meeting, he won't high-5 Marcus when everyone learns Jonah had an orgasm during the sex incident with Amy.
"Baby Shower": In the Break Room, Glenn shows Garrett and Cheyenne photos from the "Alvin and the Chipmunks" shoot which confuses them. In the Warehouse, Dina is dressed scantily as Mateo takes photos for her Christmas card. Garrett interrupts and can't stop staring at Dina. At Amy's and Jerusha's baby shower, as Jonah and Garrett comment on the food, Bo congratulates Jonah and believes that Jonah got Amy "double pregnant" since he saw the tape of them having pregnant sex. After Mateo leaves the shoot with Dina to get a memory card, he gets distracted by the stripper at the shower and doesn't listen to Garrett when he asks how the shoot is going. To Amy's delight, Glenn gives her the baby car seat she's wanted. As she hugs Glenn, she gives Jonah the thumbs up and he smiles back. Garrett notices and asks Jonah how long he and Amy have been dating. Jonah stammers a denial but finally admits it.
"Toxic Work Environment: In the store, Cheyenne points out that it makes no sense for Amy and Jonah to be carpooling since they live so far apart. As Garrett starts to meddle, Amy distracts Cheyenne by suggesting she organize a store carpool. Garrett finds Amy and Jonah's efforts to hide that they are dating boring and transparent. He's among the staff as Glenn presents the Golden Vest to Kelly. In the Break Room, Cheyenne shows Garrett that's she's worked out the compatibility of certain staff to pool together but he points out that many of the staff she's matched up don't work the same shifts. He's at the toxic workplace meeting where he mimics Kelly and supports a coin toss to decide if Sandra or Carol should get Jerry. As Cheyenne presents her comprehensive carpool plan, Garrett is among the staff who don't want to carpool.
"Costume Competition": Dressed a Clark Kent / Superman, Garrett listens to Glenn announce a costume contest. As Jonah tries to get Garrett interested in his costume, he points out that a Halloween novelty song has been playing over the store's P.A. system constantly. Garrett indicates he's able to block annoying things out and does so to Jonah which offends him. Later, Garrett rebukes Jonah for pointing out the novelty Halloween song which has started to drive him crazy. Garrett hears the novelty song while with a customer which causes him to exclaim and brings a concerned Dina over. On the phone with corporate in Glenn's Office, Garrett tries to get them to stop playing the novelty song so much. Trying to transfer him, he explodes that he's been transferred many times. He's put on hold and the novelty song plays on the phone speaker. Not participating in the contest, Glenn sees Garrett making a mess of a pile of sweaters, looking for thick ones to block the store's speakers. Panicking because of an automatic cart collector, Glenn asks if robots are now sentient and Garrett's reply sends him fleeing. To stop any music from playing, Garrett makes deranged announcements on the store's P.A.
"Delivery Day": As Glenn and Dina leave for the hospital to induce labor, Glenn insists no one call him unless it's an emergency so Garrett appeals to Glenn's feelings. Mateo brings congratulation cards for Garrett to sign. After Mateo calls a joke he's written "cute", Garrett asks for the cards back and ponders writing funnier jokes. Justine asks Garrett for the cards and puts pressure on him to write something hilarious. Garrett tries out a baby card joke on a customer, which to his frustration, the customer only finds cute. In the Break Room, Garrett tries getting the staff to come up with a baby card message from everyone and makes the excuse that the individual messages were offensive. Sayid suggests a benign message which Justine doesn't agree with because she says she's sleeping with a lot of the staff. Earl suggests writing something funny and starts laughing which causes the staff to join in but frustrates Garrett. After Amy has her baby boy, Garrett wheels past Amy's hospital room, flings in a card and swears while Mateo tries to excuse Garrett's behaviour.
"Maternity Leave": A woman, Kimmer, approaches Garrett and Jonah asking for directions to Glenn's Office for an interview for seasonal work. Not wearing any shoes and overly spiritual, as she wanders away they're miffed that Glenn is probably going to hire her. Seeing Kimmer has been hired and is punching a box, Garrett and Jonah manipulate Glenn into allowing them to conduct the interviews for the last seasonal hire position. While preparing for the interviews, Amy walks by and they comment on her disheveled state. The interviews start with Penny who is extremely energetic and demonstrative. She tells them that she has another job offer but turned off by her, they pass. The interviews continue with a man who can't decide where to sit, an unintelligent man, a glib man, a woman with a nose bleed, a vaper, a man with a swastika tattoo and a man with an offensive t-shirt. At Coffee & Bakery, Jonah and Garrett review the bad candidates and regret not hiring Penny. Even though Penny has accepted her other job offer, Garrett and Jonah convince her to work at the store which they say is like a family. They immediately regret hiring Penny as she goofily sings and dances while working, which embarrasses them when Glenn sees her. While doing go-backs, Penny makes train noises which Garrett finds annoying. A young man, Lonnie, asks if he can apply for a position but being all taken, he's turned away. Acting polite and honest, Garrett and Jonah want to hire him, especially as Penny passes by mimicking a robot. Garrett and Jonah fire Penny who has a hard time accepting it and won't let go of her work vest. In the store, Garrett and Jonah praise Lonnie's work ethic to which he jokes back in a self-deprecating manner. Excusing himself to use the bathroom, Garrett and Jonah congratulate themselves on putting the work in and finding a good employee. However, they then see Lonnie peeing on the floor in the middle of the store.
"New Initiative": At the store front, Glenn and Dina explain a new Cloud 9 policy to the staff which is making small talk with customers. Garrett asks inane questions on the policy which confuses Glenn. After Dina tells a customer about an accident her cousin had deep-frying a turkey, she and Garrett argue about who can control their facial expressions the best. They end up betting who can smile the longest and break into forced grins. Wearing his forced grin, Garrett deals with a customer who has been fired and is going through a divorce. The customer interprets Garrett's smile as being uncaring and walks away angry. He then has to deal with a woman whose dog died. Garrett's ex-girlfriend Tiffany visits him with a young boy. She surprises him by saying the boy is his son but when he sees Dina lurking, he realizes it's a ruse to make him stop smiling. Confronting Dina in the Break Room, he can't believe the lengths she'll go to win a bet. They begin to say hurtful things to each other such as Dina's birds will all die and that Garrett is bad at sex. Dina and Garrett continue to insult each other in order to win their bet. The barbs include Garrett's disability and that he'll die alone and; Dina's sister being prettier than her and that her father abandoned her at a gas station. Garrett wonders why they're continuing the bet to which Dina replies that it's fun.
"Managers' Conference": Glenn assigns Garrett to the gift-wrapping station where Dina discovers that he doesn't know how to wrap presents. Dina tries helping Garrett wrap a present but she's just an inept as he is. Getting better at wrapping presents, Garrett makes fun of a customer who looks like Santa Claus who insults Garrett. Dina and Garrett finally wrap a present correctly but they're so happy with it, they refuse to give the item to the customer they wrapped it for.
"Shadowing Glenn": Glenn has Amy stand in the store blindfolded to "feel the rhythms of the store." Garrett startles her and as she explains her situation, he rolls away and a customer starts talking with her before she crashes into a bicycle display. Garrett, Jonah and Justine name several career choices to Dina but she turns down all of them. After Amy orders too many ice pops, in the Warehouse, she asks for help hiding them. Amy intends to quickly sell them which Garrett sarcastically points out will be easy to do when it's freezing out. In the parking lot, Marcus shows Garrett that he's "hidden" the ice pop boxes in various places such as stuffing them into the cart return area and by creating box snowmen.
"Cloud 9 Academy": Glenn asks Garrett and Dina to watch his baby daughter Rose for a little bit while he baby-proofs his office. Dina refuses, even though she's Rose's surrogate mother, so Glenn forces Garrett to. Seeing that the extent of Garrett's care for Rose is putting her in a shopping cart, Dina takes Rose who begins to cry. Dina creates a play area for Rose which results in a customer leaving his baby there, thinking the store is offering child care. Parents keep dropping their kids off at the play area despite Garrett protesting they aren't providing daycare. The play area is full of kids and out of control. Rose starts crying and Garrett has to convince Dina to breast feed her. At the play area, Dina sings Rose to sleep and Garrett teases her that she likes Rose. Glenn arrives and after thanking them, mistakenly takes the wrong baby.
"Steps Challenge": Garrett is in the Break Room as Glenn announces the steps challenge but isn't enthused about it. Dina's attempt to motivate Garrett results in him rolling backwards, reducing his step count. Watching the challenge scoreboard, where seemingly the Bel-Ridge store sends messages critisizing store 1217 and Glenn (but it's Amy sending the messages), Sandra rallies the staff to compete. Glenn starts his own cheer but tumbles off his scooter, prompting Garrett to stop Joseph from helping him up. While writing an email to Doug, the manager of the Bel-Ridge store, Glenn is manipulated by Garrett into writing one that makes it appear Glenn is interested in Doug. As a customer tries to return a blender to Garrett, Marcus and Sayid turn on him when they discover he bought the blender at the Bel-Ridge store. When the Break Room is trashed by Bel-Ridge and staff want to get them back, Garrett encourages retribution.
"Blizzard": Garrett makes several announcements about the snowstorm and when with the staff trying to leave the store, says that he can't get an Uber due to surge pricing. As the staff sit in a circle and Cheyenne proposes doing a Ouija board, Garrett doesn't want to ask he doesn't want to talk to Sal. Stuck in the store overnight, Garrett is disappointed when snow blocks the exit and the staff can't leave. With only two choices of videos to watch, Garrett can't get the staff or a customer to agree on which one to pick. Really bored, nerves get frayed and Garrett critisize Jonah's mannerisms. As Amy and Mateo's fight, Garrett tells Isaac to stop calling him "brother" and Mateo tells Garrett that he smells. A customer walks in the front door and free at last, Garrett rolls outside without a coat.
"Lovebirds": After Dina brings her birds to work, Garrett makes an announcement over the P.A. about St. Valentine. In the Break Room, Garrett reaches through the bird cages with a grabber stick to buy a bag of chips from a vending machine while Jonah watches. Carefully bringing the bag to the front of the cage, Garrett opens the door and while reaching in, the birds escape into the store. Customers and staff panic, Sandra tries to stop the birds but they fly out the front door while Dina runs after them screaming. In the parking lot, as Dina calls after her birds in vain, Jonah tells Amy that Garrett let the birds out by mistake. Jonah finds Garrett feeling guilty about the bird's escape and is distressed when he learns Jonah told Amy the truth. Amy tries to guilt Garrett into admitting his mistake to Dina. Jonah arrives and Garrett figures out that he told Amy the truth. Seeing Dina take down the bird cages, Garrett tries to tell her the truth but when she suggests they might have flown to her apartment, he offers to go there with her. At Dina's, the birds haven't arrived and as Garrett calls for them out the window, Dina stops him. He tries to tell her the truth but touched that he seems to care a lot about her predicament, she plies him for sex which he reluctantly agrees to. Post-coitus, Dina happily munches on a sandwich while Garrett sits in a daze, still racked with guilt. At Coffee & Bakery, Garrett tells Amy and Jonah what happened at Dina's. As Jonah takes Amy's position that Garrett needs to tell Dina the truth, Amy insists that Garrett should never tell her. Amy leaves and Jonah tells Garrett that they professed their love for each other for the first time.
"Minor Crimes": Laurie arrives in the store and catches Cheyenne and Garrett watching a video on their phone. She rebukes them and makes them put their phones away in their lockers. Cheyenne and Garrett put their phones away and immediately go through separation difficulties. Suffering without their phones, Garrett can't remember the name of an actor and his frustration is worsened as Cheyenne suggests actors who are slightly connected with descriptions Garrett gives. At customer service, Garrett tries to get two customers to look up the actor he can't remember on their phones but instead, they give inane answers to the clues he provides. Garrett suddenly remembers the name of the actor he's been trying to remember who Cheyenne doesn't know. He's startled when Glenn drives his car through the store.
"Salary": During Amy's first day as manager, Glenn asks Justine, Marcus and Garrett what he should work on. Telling him to clean up a disgusting mess, he leaves cheerfully which Garrett can't believe. Garrett tries to make Glenn see being a floor worker is a bad job to which Glenn counters there are no bad jobs if one's attitude is great. Amy mistakenly gives her employment contract to Myrtle to give to Garrett to read on the P.A. which he does. He later defends his actions to Amy. At Coffee & Bakery, Glenn makes light of getting mayo on his shirt while cleaning up. While Justine laughs, Garrett tries to make Glenn angry by pointing out all the money he's losing by not being manager anymore. Glenn doesn't care and his continued quips frustrate Garrett. Happily, Glenn relates a disgusting clean-up job to Garrett who insists that working in the store is horrible and Glenn will never convince him otherwise.
"Easter": Glenn asks who'd like to come to his church's Passion play and singles out Cheyenne and Garrett who make excuses. Glenn tries role-playing his part with Garrett who uses it as an opportunity to make fun of him. In the Surveillance Office, watching a monitor, Jonah listens to Garrett compliment his shirt. He's pleasantly surprised as Garrett never says nice things about him. While making Easter baskets, Jonah tries to get Garrett to compliment his shirt to his face but Garrett is ambivalent. Jonah pays Garrett several compliments, hoping to get one in return, but is disappointed. Jonah interrupts Garrett helping two customers and yells at him for not paying him a compliment to his face. After shouting several nice things about Garrett, he leaves in a huff. Garrett tells the customers that Jonah is his best friend.
"Quinceañera": At Emma's quinceañera, Dina's tight, low-cut dress results in a number of teenage boys staring at her breasts which makes Garrett question her wardrobe selection for the occasion. Garrett catches teenager Shane staring at Dina's breasts again and rebukes him. When Shane learns Garrett dated Dina, he asks several questions about her breasts which gets Garrett describing them in detail and finally offering to draw them. Garrett draws Dina's breasts for Shane while describing them. Shane's mother scolds Garrett and gives him the drawing of Dina's breasts which Dina recognizes as hers. She teases Garrett about being infatuated with her which he denies. Garrett's continued denials to Dina that he's obsessed with her results in Dina asking Shane to dance and openly trying to provoke jealousy in Garrett. Dina dances with Shane in a goofy, provocative manner, unsuccessfully trying to make Garrett jealous.
"Cloud Green": Jonah is disappointed to see fake names on a sign-up sheet for Earth Day activities which leads Garrett to kid him that he's the Bono of the store and point it out to Heather. Protesting that he's not, Garrett continues to kid him. Garrett tricks Jonah into wearing a pair of sunglasses that resemble Bono's while Cheyenne takes Jonah's green ambassador button and says she doesn't need his help. Garrett believes Jonah misses being in charge and compares him to Bono again. Jonah starts his own environmental group and when Garrett comes by, he guesses Jonah started the group to be in charge. Denying this, Marcus offers to be leader which Jonah quickly shoots down.
"Scanners": Trying out the new scanners, Cheyenne, Garrett and Jonah are amazed at their range and accuracy in identifying products. In the Warehouse, the staff divide into two teams, "Team Soup" led by Jonah and "Team Yogurt" led by Garrett. Putting a UPC sticker for their team's product on their vest, they plan a duel in the store to see which team can scan the other team "out." Hiding in a dress rack, Carol knocks out a "Yogurt" team member. Mateo suggests to Garrett and Cheyenne that he go into the store's tunnels to get behind Carol. Seeing Garrett trying to shoot him with a scanner, Jonah hugs Amy and picks her up, covering his UPC sticker. Over the P.A., Garrett unsuccessfully tries to lure Jonah to a department so he can shoot him while Heather and Riley listen. As Glenn and Jonah are helping a customer, they hear Cheyenne scream. Running over, she cries she's been bitten on the ankle. Garrett rolls out from behind a display and shoots them both. However, Jonah reveals his UPC sticker is for yogurt, which eliminates a person from Garrett's team. The four argue about which team won.
"CLOUD9FAIL": Garrett points out a tweet of a Cloud 9 store with a cart full of unpackaged meat which Sandra shows is in their store. Trying to think of ways to make extra money, Cheyenne, Garrett and Mateo decide to sell some of their possession in the store. Garrett brings in some of his valuable, vintage sneakers. A customer shows interest in a pair of Garrett's vintage sneakers but when Garrett discovers the customer wants to wear them, he asks him to leave. Garrett finds a customer who cares about vintage sneakers as much as he does, but can't bring himself to sell a pair. Dina tells Garrett that she discovered he was responsible for letting her birds escape. Cheerfully reminding him that he didn't admit it and had sex with her just after, Garrett apologizes. Saying not to worry about it, she says she has something to show him. Outside at the loading dock, Dina has set fire to all of Garrett's sneakers. As he watches in grief, Dina whispers that she will never forgive him.
"Sandra's Fight": Cheyenne, Glenn and Mateo scold Garrett for not revealing to Dina that he was responsible for releasing her birds and, sleeping with her afterwards. Trying to show he's a good guy, Garrett brings Myrtle her shawl. However, Glenn doesn't see Garrett's gesture so Garrett tries to take the shawl back which Glenn interprets as Garrett being mean. He attends the union meeting with Robin Green. While stocking shelves, Garrett asks Glenn about Rose, bringing a threat from Glenn for Garrett to stay away from her. Garrett is able to convince Glenn that he does good things in secret while Glenn lies about anonymously donating a kidney, which he calls Jerusha about.
"Employee Appreciation Day": After Garrett makes an announcement on the P.A., Amy and Jonah watch the staff get ice cream. After ICE agents arrive at the store, Garrett makes a P.A. announcement about ICE while the agents watch. Having reviewed the payroll records, at customer service, Agent Robson tells Amy, Garrett and Jonah they're looking for Mateo. Lying that they don't know him, Robson notices a picture of Mateo on the wall. Amy leaves while Garrett and Jonah still claim ignorance. Outside the store, Garrett, the staff and customers watch as Mateo is driven away by ICE.
Relationships
You've made (both) your points Nikki.
Nikki is first seen when the staff go on strike in support of getting Glenn his job back. She has joined the picket line in support of the staff even though she doesn't work for Cloud 9. Garrett is attracted to her, introduces himself and he and Nikki bond over their mutual interest in the video game "Dead Chaser 4". As other non-Cloud 9 protesters join the picket line, they have their own agenda. Some protesters want to prevent transgender people from using the bathrooms in the store. Nikki joins their protest and Garrett sees she is a bigot. He initially decides not to ask her out but then that he tells Jonah he's going to have sex with her a number of times and then try and change her views. She is last seen getting into her jeep with Garrett. ("Strike")
If you're not there in 10 minutes, I'm starting without you.
After a largely antagonistic relationship, on Black Friday, Dina is impressed that Garrett rallied a sick and demoralized work force and completed the day. She kisses him and tells him to get all the breath mints in the store and meet her in the Photo Lab for sex. ("Black Friday") They continue to have casual sex but struggle to define their relationship. When a tornado hits the store, Garrett is angered that Dina continues to have no feelings for him. Both survive the tornado and state they are glad that each other are OK. ("Tornado") After Dina deals with anxiety issues, Garrett suggests they break up but Dina makes it appear that she's dumped Garrett. ("Part-Time Hires")
Trivia
- Garrett has a big collection of cool sneakers. ("Guns, Pills, and Birds") Dina sets fire to the collection, destroying them. ("CLOUD9FAIL")
- His best friend is Randy Mendoza ("Brett Is Dead") but later he says it's Jonah. ("Easter")
Quotes
- “I could do the shift assignments or I could finish eating my mac and cheese. I wonder what I'll do?”— Garrett, "Mannequin".
- “Look, you don't know their situation. This is like Jurassic Park. You start messing around with something you don't know anything about, and before you know it you're getting bitten in half while you're sitting on a toilet.”— Garrett, "Wellness Fair".
