(Flashback from "Tornado")
Reporter: The National Weather Service has issued a heightened tornado watch.
Dina: Everybody stay inside! We are gonna lock this place down!
Glenn: Dear lord Jesus, in your infinite power and compassion, please save us!
Mateo: I love you, Jeff! I didn't want to die without letting you know how I feel!
Carol: Hey! Sandra!
Glenn: Dear Allah, in your infinite power and compassion, please save us from destruction.
Amy: Thank you for being there for me and for keeping me calm.
Jonah: Of course. Anytime.
Glenn: I hope you all had an amazing vacation.
Garrett: By "vacation," you mean the two months we were laid off without pay?
Glenn: Uh-huh. Anyways, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching since the tornado, and...
Construction Worker: Coming through!
Glenn: Almost got me there. And and it's been raising some big questions for me. Questions like...questions that...
Glenn: Why did the tornado hit us? And why did it stop when I prayed to Allah? And why...
Cheyenne: Aaah! Sorry. I almost fell.
Glenn: Does that mean that Allah is the one true god? Or that Allah and Jesus are the same god? Or, or that they're different gods, but with varying responsibilities?
Glenn: What's the meaning of...what's the...
Glenn: So that's what I've been thinking about. Anyone else have thoughts on that? Okay, then. Let's get to work!
Jonah: What was that, a twenty minute walk?
Dina: Remember, single file when we cross the highway.
Glenn: Are we cloud one?
Cheyenne: Wow, that's really bad luck.
Jonah: Yeah, it well, it wasn't just my apartment. The tornado leveled the whole building, so...
Cheyenne: Scary. Were you in it at the time?
Jonah: No, I was here, at the time.
Cheyenne: Oh, right. Blonde moment.
Jonah: Yeah, so anyway, everything I own is gone, and now I'm, I'm living in a FEMA trailer.
Mateo: So in a way, you're officially trailer trash now?
Jonah: Well, I am living in a trailer, so...
Mateo: Ha. Admits it.
Cheyenne: Oh. Why don't you move into Garrett's apartment?
Garrett: No! No. I mean nah. Jonah doesn't want to live with a roommate. He's an adult.
Jonah: Yeah, no. I, I mean, I, I would, I would love that, but I would never, I would never impose.
Garrett: But I mean, it wouldn't be a problem. I could do it. It's just that it's really cramped.
Jonah: Sure, sure, yeah.
Cheyenne: Oh. I thought you had a two-bedroom.
Garrett: Ah, okay. Sure, yes, you know, if you want to get architectural about it, then yes, I do have a second bedroom, but, when you use a wheelchair, you need multiple bedrooms.
Cheyenne: Oh. Why?
Garrett: Safety. Excuse me. Gotta go.
Carol: Oops. Sorry.
Amy: Back at it, huh?
Jonah: Yeah. Yeah, it's like we never left. So, uh, how are things at home? Emma. How's how's Emma?
Amy: Awesome. Yeah, she's starting high school.
Jonah: Oh, wow. Uh, that's exciting. Teenager.
Amy: I know.
Jonah: Look out!
Amy: I know, right? Oh boy.
Jonah: Uh, so, we we never talked about the...
Amy: Do we have to?
Jonah: Oh, yeah, no, I mean, I'd rather not, if you don't need to.
Amy: No! I don't. I don't need to.
Jonah: Great. Yeah, no, I don't need to either. No, yeah. Same. Same, same team. Just, uh, you know. Didn't want things to be awkward.
Amy: No! Awkward.
Amy: It's not awkward. It's fine. I'm fine.
Jonah: Yeah, I'm fine.
Amy: You are fine.
Jonah: I am superfine. Hey, Marcus!
Jonah: Hey, what's going on, buddy?
Marcus: Just carrying some stuff.
Jonah: Classic Marcus.
Amy: Hang out!
Jonah: Yeah, I'm glad they hired you back.
Marcus: Okay. Thanks. I will. Hey, listen, I've been thinking we should kick Mateo out of the friend group.
Glenn: So, maybe they're the same god, but with different responsibilities.
Jeff: Yes, can we table that?
Glenn: Oh, sure.
Jeff: I just want to make sure that, construction aside, you're going to be ready for the opening.
Glenn: Oh, don't worry. I got your email right here. Uh, we got door prizes, and Minions for the kids, and Howie Mandel's coming?
Jeff: No, not the head of marketing. The comedian. Same name.
Glenn: Oh. Well, relax. I'm not going to let you down.
Jeff: Good. I'll see you today at 3:00.
Glenn: Oh. Why're you coming at 3:00?
Jeff: For the opening.
Dina: It says, "Bring back the staff" a week before the grand opening, on the 28th." Today's the 28th. Well, he couldn't be more clear!
Glenn: Yes! He could've said "The grand opening, which is on the 28th." This makes the 28th sound like the start date!
Amy: "Bring back the staff a week before the grand opening" on the 28th." Yeah, this is confusing.
Dina: No! "Bring back the staff a week before" the grand opening on the 28th."
Glenn: He didn't say it like that. You're adding emphasis.
Amy: Okay, guys. We just need to figure out what we're going to do.
Glenn: Or as Dina would put it, "We need to figure out what we're gonna do."
Dina: Maybe I would. Maybe I would say it like that.
Glenn: Yeah, well good luck in radio.
Garrett: Attention, employee...attention. Test. Testing. Ah, damn it. Listen up, everybody! We're opening today in, like, four hours! So that means we need to be ready in, like, four hours! To be honest, I don't think we can do that. Just doesn't seem possible. It's not something that can be accomplished. But that's just my opinion, though. All right. Peace!
Amy: Okay, so we don't have much time, which means we need to stock the shelves with the big items first, and...
Marcus: Wait. What if we just set up one aisle, take a picture of it, blow that bad boy up life-sized, and then just slap it over all the other aisles? Boom.
Amy: Uh-huh, maybe. Look, we can always redo stuff tomorrow, so for now, it's better to do things fast and bad than slow and good.
Cheyenne: But fast and good is better.
Amy: What are you doing?
Cheyenne: What? Fast and good is better than fast and bad.
Amy: Yes, but for now, we're gonna prioritize speed.
Cheyenne: Okay. I'm, I'm prioritizing both.
Amy: You can't prioritize both! Forget it. Just make the place look as good as possible before Jeff gets here.
Mateo: Wait. Jeff is coming today?
Myrtle: How about slow and bad?
Garrett: What is going on here?
Jonah: Oh, I, uh, I can't shower in the mornings because Cliff, in the adjoining trailer only takes baths.
Garrett: Well, gotta do what you gotta do.
Jonah: Yeah. It's, it's just until I find a place, or someone who will let me stay with them, so ...
Garrett: Mm-hmm. Well, I'm a...
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you do you. Yeah. What'd you say?
Jonah: Oh, I, I thought you said something.
Garrett: I didn't say anything.
Jonah: All right.
Dina: We are looking for Minions costumes only. What in the name of God is "Lego Ninjago?"
Howie: Excuse me.
Dina: Just hang on. Uh, we're closed. You're going to need to come back at 3:00.
Howie: I'm not a customer. I'm Howie. Mandel. I was told to be here at 11:00.
Dina: Oh, you're working here?
Howie: Yeah, kinda.
Dina: Oh, damn it. God! I hate when they don't tell me about new hires. Okay, find yourself a vest and a name tag and go help Leonard in produce. Sorry about that.
Howie: I'm Howie Mandel.
Dina: Yeah, that's fine. Tell payroll. Vest. Tag. Produce. Go!
Howie: What..."America's Got Talent"?
Dina: I don't know what you're asking me.
Glenn: Okay, you're going to have to redo the whole thing.
Earl: I'd have to take everything off the shelf to move it.
Glenn: Well, then it's a bad day to be Earl, isn't it? Don't sigh! I can hear you sighing!
Amy: We don't have time to restock a whole shelf.
Glenn: Exactly. See, Earl? Now you've pissed off Amy, too. Sometimes I think the whole world's incompetent.
Amy: You know what, Glenn? I am so glad that you finished writing your speech so quickly, so that you could be here to supervise everything.
Glenn: My speech?
Amy: Well, yeah, I mean, obviously you're going to have to speak at the ribbon cutting.
Amy: Don't worry! We'll do the best we can without you. Leave the shelf where it is. Not today, Earl.
Mateo: What am I going to say to Jeff? He never called me back.
Cheyenne: Maybe he didn't get the message. Maybe he couldn't hear you over the tornado.
Mateo: Well, I don't even know if I want him to have heard me. It's complicated.
Sandra: My boyfriend Jerry got hit in the head by a mailbox during the tornado. He's been in a coma ever since. I visit him every day to read to him. I'm on the fifth Harry Potter book, and ...
Cheyenne: Ooh! You know what we could do? Maybe we could do a test in front of one of those big fans to see if he could hear you.
Mateo: God, that's an amazing idea!
Sandra: He's off the breathing tube. That's good.
Amy: Okay, I need three of you to help me unload a truck. Don, Marcus, and Myrtle. Meet me in back in five.
Marcus: Tough luck, dude.
Jonah: Ah, it's fine.
Marcus: Oh, hey, listen. I heard about your living situation and if you want, you can crash with me.
Jonah: Wow. Uh, that's, that's really nice, Marcus.
Marcus: Thank you. Yes! The horsemen! Living together! Partying hard. Luring ladies back to the pad.
Jonah: I'm sorry. "Luring?"
Marcus: Hilarious. You know what I mean.
Jonah: I don't, actually.
Marcus: You're a crazy man. We're going to be on fire. Chicks are going to be banging down the door, and we'll be like, "Please, ladies, one at a time."
Jonah: One at a time, as in there's, there's two of us and one of them?
Glenn: Hey, uh, Garrett. Umm, I'm supposed to give a speech later, and I'm a little nervous about it, uh, given that, I'm sorry. I'm a little embarrassed to say.
Garrett: Your voice.
Glenn: What? No. Not, given that I didn't prepare anything. What's wrong with my voice?
Garrett: Nothing. You have a nice voice.
Glenn: Garrett, I'm not a child. If there's something wrong with my voice, you can just tell me.
Garrett: Okay. Umm, some people not me, but some people might find your voice, octave-wise, to be the teeniest, tiniest, bit...high.
Garrett: Uh, anyone with ears.
Glenn: That's everybody.
Garrett: Yeah, it's high.
Glenn: Hi, I'm Glenn. This is my voice. How come no one ever told me that I sounded like that?
Amy: We thought you knew.
Glenn: But that's not how I sound on the inside! On the inside, I sound like "Hi, I'm Glenn."
Jonah: That's the same voice.
Glenn: Not what you hear. What I hear.
Dina: Okay, I found a costume shop with two Minion costumes.
Glenn: Do I have a weird voice?
Dina: Yeah. It's preposterous. Anyway, I guess they were rented for some birthday party, but the kid was murdered or kidnapped, or changed his mind or something. I don't know. I wasn't listening. The point is, you two should go right now and pick them up.
Amy: Why us two?
Dina: We have a lot to do. All right? Henry can't be around children. Marcus is on his third DUI. Elias is afraid of Minions. Nobody knows where Brett is!
Amy: Uh, wow. This is the worst. Sorry, no, I no. I just meant that, that, this, this is the worst.
Jonah: You want to listen to a podcast?
Jonah: My phone got stolen from my trailer. I thought you were going to say "no."
Mateo: I love you! I love you! Can you hear me? I love you! I love you! I'm just doing a test. I don't even really know how I feel about it for sure. I mean, it's complicated. I'm Mateo!
Scott: Okay, man.
Mateo: Okay, man. See you around! So hot.
Dina: Listen, uh I'm sorry I didn't know who you were before. I'm not super up on pop culture.
Howie: Don't worry about it.
Dina: Look at us. An hour ago, I had no idea who you were, and now we're flirting. Well, you should probably get back to straightening around the registers.
Howie: Ha, ha, ha.
Dina: What's funny?
Howie: You're being serious?
Dina: I'm sorry. Am I supposed to say "Action" or something?
Jonah: Look, I get that you're still with Adam, and I...
Amy: Can we please not talk about Adam?
Jonah: Hey! Are we just, like, not friends anymore?
Amy: Yes. Of course we're friends. Nobody said we're not friends.
Jonah: Friends don't sit in a car for 43 minutes in complete silence. Friends have conversations. They talk.
Amy: Okay, Jonah, let's talk. We kissed, and now everything's awkward and loaded, and I don't how to be around you. Is that the conversation you want to have? Didn't think so.
Glenn: It is my pleasure to welcome you to Cloud 9! What do you think?
Garrett: Uh, try saying "We have your son. $1 million or he dies."
Glenn: We have your son. $1 million or he dies!
Garrett: That's tight.
Glenn: How's it going with the ribbon?
Mateo: Well, I'm six minutes into this video on how to tie a fancy bow, and this guy's still talking about his cat! It's like, "We get it. You're gay."
Cheyenne: And these are the biggest scissors I could find.
Glenn: We can't cut a giant ribbon with these!
Dina: Okay, we'll be ready in about an hour.
Glenn: An hour? The opening is now.
Dina: Ooh, then you're going to need to stall big-time.
Jeff: Hey, guys. Everybody excited for the big day? How's it looking inside?
Glenn: No, no, no. I want to show you something over here.
Jeff: Over here?
Jeff: Okay. Right here?
Dina: Beautiful rug. Good for him.
Glenn: It's my great pleasure to welcome you to Cloud 9.
Jeff: Thank you, Glenn. That was beautiful. Thank you very much. Umm, okay. Hey, listen. Let's cut that ribbon and check it out!
Glenn: But first, the comedic stylings of Mr. Howie Mandel!
Howie: Uh, this, uh, event was set up by my, uh, appearance agent, not my, uh, performance agent. Performing is a whole different negotiation, so, thank you, everybody.
Glenn: Then I guess, I guess I'll keep talking.
Dina: 6:31. 6:30. 6:29.
Garrett: How is this helping?
Dina: How is you asking "how it's helping" helping? 6:22. 6:21.
Jonah: Okay, okay, okay.
Jonah: Ooh! You're gonna break the Minion.
Amy: Don't break the Minion.
Glenn: When you get to hour two, minute twelve, of "Pirates of the Caribbean," you can see one of the pirates is wearing a watch. That's a, that's a goof.
Amy: I can't hear you!
Jonah: Here you go. You stand still!
Mateo: This is the wrong arm.
Cheyenne: Just go.
Glenn: Can, can you tell other people's jokes?
Glenn: Can I?
Howie: I, I guess.
Glenn: I don't know any.
Jonah: Ah! I'm gonna fall. Oh, oh, okay.
Cinco de Mayo Sign: Get thirsty, amigos.
Garrett: Welcome back, shoppers. I'm sure you're all very excited that we've reopened. Or more likely, you don't care at all, 'cause it's just a store.
Amy: "Badabadabadaba?" What, really?
Jonah: I've never seen the movie. I thought they spoke gibberish.
Amy: They speak a blend of pidgin languages mixed with gibberish, but "badabadbadaba," that's almost racist.
Jonah: Banana. Banana. Beep-boop-bop-bop-boop.
Amy: I'm getting divorced.
Amy: Umm, we woke up the morning after the tornado, and realized just because we were happy to see each other alive, didn't mean that we should stay married.
Jonah: Well, I'm, I'm here, you know, if you ever want to talk, or...
Amy: Do you want to have sex?
Amy: I'm joking!
Jonah: Yeah, obviously, you're joking. I knew you were I'm not...
Amy: Are you blushing?
Jonah: Big-time, yeah.
Jeff: Mateo. Hey.
Mateo: How you been?
Jeff: Good, thanks. Yeah, I'm in a good place. You know, I've been hitting the gym pretty hard. Doing a lot of Zuhmba.
Mateo: Umm, I just need to ask you something. Did you get a voice mail, by chance?
Jeff: Oh, sorry, one second. Uh, ooh, I have to take this. It's Chad.
Mateo: Your ex, Chad?
Jeff: Yes. We got back together. Hey, sweetie.
Mateo: Mmm, just real quick. It's pronounced Zumba, okay? And your toupee, it's garbage. You look like a fry cook.
Glenn: Okay, well, this is going to be fun. Now, do you want to room with Timur or Jacob? Timur's a sweetheart, but he does have night terrors. On the other hand, Jacob is really quiet, but in a scary way. Sometimes you wake up and he's just standing over you.
Garrett: All right. You can stay with me.
Jonah: Really? Are you are you sure?
Garrett: No, I'm definitely not sure, but whatever.
Glenn: Oh, okay. Well, if anything changes, the men's bathroom key also works on my front door.
Jonah: Okay, roomie.
Garrett: House rules. Do not touch my video game stuff. No talking during "Game of Thrones." No cooking fish. And leave me out of your coffee-making process.
Jonah: I'll have to, because it's a French single press.
Garrett: I do not like fragrant soaps. On Wednesday, my black friends come over so do not be around. What else? Parking spots. You don't get one.