Season: Two — Episode: 3 Director: Matt Sohn — Writer: Matt Hubbard — Aired: October 6, 2016 — Viewers (millions): 5.18 Summary: Jonah refuses to sell to guns anyone he deems suspicious, Glenn buys the store's entire stock of morning-after pills, Mateo and Dina hunt down a crow that scares Garrett.
So there is someone over there that I really, really don't think should be allowed to own a gun. Or a car or a fork.
- Crow sightings.
In the Break Room, Amy is handing out shift assignments and Jonah gets the gun counter. He morally objects to the assignment which prompts a number of other staff to want out of theirs. Glenn sympathizes with Jonah's position as he has a moral objection to the morning-after pill which to his shock, he finds the store sells. Amy doesn't change the shift assignments. In the store, a crow flies in through the open front door. Jonah catches Amy buying lots of frozen pizzas for the weekend as her husband Adam will be taking her daughter Emma on a camping trip. Jonah invites her to watch basketball with him and Garrett but she is looking forward to watching movies alone.
A lot of pizza and wine for Amy.
Garrett is making an announcement on the P.A. system when the crow frightens him. At the gun counter, Jonah serves his first customer but is very uncomfortable, drops a pistol and ammo, screams "gun!" and ducks for cover. The crow is now at the Pharmacy where Glenn tries to see if Tate has a moral objection to selling the morning-after pill. Tate loves the pill and won't stop selling them. Dina, who keeps birds as pets, tries to get details of the crow from Garrett. Mateo and Garrett want to kill it but she convinces them they'll get it out of the store safely. The crow knocks over a Kyle the Cloud 9 Cloud stand-up. (♫ Bob Marley - Three Little Birds ♫)
I'm normally a cool guy.
Jonah's next customer is a deranged man. He seeks advice from Amy and as they watch him talk to a mannequin, she agrees he shouldn't get a gun. The crow is now at the gun counter. A very calm man Mike asks to see a bolt-action rifle which Jonah is about to give him until he learns Mike has just been laid off. He denies him service even though Mike seems to have no intention of taking action against his former workplace. In an aisle, Dina and Mateo try to throw a tarp over the crow but argue over how fast they need to run so the crow gets away. At the Pharmacy, a young woman Michelle and her boyfriend are buying the morning-after pill when they are interrupted by Glenn. He tries to guilt them by showing pictures of his kids but can't get his phone to work. Glenn cuts in front of them and buys all the pills.
As Amy agrees to clean-up vomit for Sandra, she gets a call from Adam. He won't be able to take Emma camping, ruining Amy's weekend. Mateo pours a trail of bird seed leading out of the store in hopes the crow will exit. Unfortunately, this attracts a murder of crows who fly into the store. Tate rings Glenn's pill purchase up which is very pricey. Glenn says he can't afford it and wants to return them. Tate refuses as it's illegal. Mike complains to Amy about Jonah. Amy tries to get Jonah to be more reasonable in dealing with the customers but he refuses. This combined with Adam backing out of the camping trip is pushing Amy to the brink. The crow at the gun counter flies away and poops on Amy. A murder of crows is perched on three mannequins. (♫ Mr. Mister - Broken Wings ♫)
This is getting creepy.
Glenn approaches Michelle and her boyfriend and offers to sell them his morning-after pills. Jonah refuses to sell to another customer who says he's calling the NRA. Garrett finds out from Jonah that he is in part refusing service to get back at Amy for assigning him to the gun counter. Glenn approaches a woman who is looking at condoms and offers to sell her some pills. While doing so, a large group of protesters with guns enters the store. In the Break Room, Dina explains the situation and everyone blames Jonah for denying so many people service at the gun counter. He blames Amy and as they start to argue, everyone groans. Mateo says they should "bang" already and Garrett supports him. Glenn asks anyone who is planning to have sex to see him and Garrett is concerned that everyone has forgotten about the crows. Myrtle feeds the crows. (♫ Barry Manilow - Can't Smile Without You ♫)
That's so old person!
On the P.A. system, Dina asks everyone to be quiet while she makes bird calls to scare away the crows. A number of crows descend towards Garrett so he hides in a tent but there is one inside already that he battles with. A woman with a rifle buys baby clothes. (♫ The Supremes - Baby Love ♫) At the store front, the customer who threatened to call the NRA is standing on a check-out counter and speaking to the NRA protesters. He decries Jonah's actions which prompts Jonah to also stand on a check-out counter and defend his right to free speech. The two start to argue and Amy finally boils over. Encouraged by a protester, she climbs on a counter. She tells both of them that they are acting like children and need to accept that not everything will go their way.
Be a grown up.
Amy then reveals that her weekend plans were spoiled and it's pointed out that she's throwing a fit. Glenn also climbs on a counter to talk about morality as a crow flies over his head which prompts the protesters to target the crow which Dina stops. Later, Garrett is having fries when a crow lands on the table and starts eating them. He's startled but starts to like the crow. Feeling bad that Amy's weekend was spoiled, Jonah offers to work the gun counter properly. Amy realizes his offer is because he feels sorry for her so she doesn't want him to work the counter and they start arguing. As Garrett is talking to the crow, Dina captures it in a bag and tells Mateo to "take care of it". Mateo whacks the bag on the ground several times and hands the bag to Dina who is shocked. Glenn has set up a stand and is selling the morning-after pills on sale.
Amy's name tag: Amy wears a different name tag in every episode. For this one it's "Rachel".
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