Season: Three — Episode: 10 Director: Jay Hunter — Writer: Owen Ellickson — Aired: January 18, 2018 — Viewers (millions): 3.71 Summary: When Jeff announces that the store could be getting an upgrade, Amy, Jonah and Dina set out to discover the pros and cons. Cheyenne accidentally volunteers to be a surrogate mother for Glenn's baby and tries to get out of it.
It's total chaos. Everyday there is like Black Friday. It's hell.
In the Break Room, Glenn makes morning announcements which include a request for a surrogate mother because Jerusha can't have children due to an abnormal uterus. Jeff then announces that if the store sells $80,000 more by day end, it will be re-classified from a "triple A" to a "quadruple A" high volume store. No one cares until Jeff mentions that as part of the re-classification, the cafeteria will be made into a Pizza Hut. As the staff go into a sales frenzy, Amy meets Jonah and Dina by the whiteboard thermometer tracking the progress to $80,000. Jonah is suspicious of what will happen to the store if it is re-classified and convinces Amy and Dina to visit the "Quad-A" Crestwood Store with him to check it out.
There she is.
In Glenn's Office, Glenn negotiates with a woman over the price to be his surrogate mother. Kelly tries to sell a TV but can't answer the customer's question and is helped by Mateo. Garrett sells merchandise to a minor who is using a credit card and passing himself off as an adult. Brett puts signs on all the fruit that they improve sexual performance. (♫ Usher - Yeah! ♫) Jeff (who is now wearing a hat) gives Marcus instructions on a balloon drop when the $80,000 goal is met. Amy and Jonah ask Jeff what will change when the store is re-classified to which he gives evasive and nervous answers. Glenn realizes that the woman he's interviewing is a baby trafficker, not a surrogate. As Glenn tells his woes to Cheyenne, she accidentally volunteers to be the surrogate while encouraging Glenn. Glenn calls Jerusha with the good news.
Man, I can't wait for it to be great.
At the Crestwood store, Jonah can't believe how busy it is. Jonah asks an associate named Angie what it is like working at the store and she says it's the best job she's ever had. He asks another associate named Joyce what the worst part of her job is but she gives the same answer as Angie. Amy asks another associate named Eugene how long he's been working at the store and he also says it's the best job he's ever had. This raises Amy, Dina and Jonah's suspicions. Glenn takes Cheyenne's picture for an embroidery Jerusha is making of her and as they talk Glenn realizes Cheyenne doesn't want to be his surrogate. He guesses that it's due to her husband Bo's objections which she lies is the reason. In the Break Room at the Crestwood store, the associates are comatose and crying. Angie says that if the Ozark Highlands store becomes "Quad-A" it'll be bad.
Comatose and crying.
Amy gathers the staff for a meeting in the Warehouse to convince them not to become a "Quad-A" store. When she mentions the staff won't get to eat from the Pizza Hut everyone is on board to slow sales except Marcus who wasn't paying attention. Bo arrives at the store so Glenn invites him and Cheyenne to meet in his office. Bo doesn't know that Glenn wants Cheyenne to be his surrogate but when he learns that Glenn will pay $20,000, he is on board. In the Warehouse, Amy assigns staff to duties they'll be bad at including putting Kelly on a cash register which she's never done and Marcus who will "float". Dina asks Jonah to keep Jeff occupied with his boring stories. The staff bring it in for a cheer, enter the store en masse and Marcus kicks a customer's shopping basket. (♫ Bassnectar - Now ♫)
Marcus the MVP.
Garrett makes an announcement there is a carbon monoxide leak, Kelly can't work the cash register and the staff generally do their best to discourage sales. In the Stock Room, Jonah regales Jeff with a story. Brett changes the signs on the fruit now indicating they have E. coli, Mateo stops a customer from buying shrimp and Marcus takes a customer's shopping cart. Jeff wants to get back in the store and to stall him further, Jonah says he thinks Jeff is going through something and he's available to talk. Jonah is surprised when Jeff accepts his offer. Amy high-fives Dina after she insults a customer but then they hear a siren go off. The staff run to the cash registers where they learn to their horror that Bo has purchased a hot tub which puts the store's sales over $80,000. Marcus accidentally does the celebratory balloon drop. (♫ Arrow - Hot Hot Hot ♫)
May God have mercy on us all.
Jonah listens to Jeff's woes. In Glenn's Office without Bo, Glenn goes over a pregnancy calendar with Cheyenne but when he realizes she doesn't want to be his surrogate he insults her so she'll quit. In the Break Room, the staff sit depressed and try to accept the store will be "Quad-A". Kelly asks how to get money stains off her hands which makes Amy and Dina realize she's been accepting counterfeit bills. When they count the counterfeit money, it puts the sales figure under $80,000 so the store won't be re-classified. Amy hugs Kelly. Jonah tells Jeff that the store didn't make "Quad-A" which sends Jeff into a tirade as he bought a car with the bonus money he would have received. Dina tells Glenn the store won't be re-classified and sees he is depressed over not having a surrogate. He jokes with Dina about her being his surrogate. They insult each other but when Dina learns she'll make $20,000, she agrees and they shake hands warily.
The unholy union.
Amy's name tag: Amy wears a different name tag in every episode. For this one it's "Gail".
Emma gets a job at the store and Amy asks Jonah for parenting advise. Garrett and Dina argue over who broke up with whom, a cute construction worker flirts with Mateo, Cheyenne and Carol for store perks; Kelly has a rough first day. (Viewers: 4.33 million)
After an attempted robbery, tensions arise between Dina and Jonah. Glenn has a tough time firing a store security guard and Amy discovers her coworkers have been hanging out without her. (Viewers: 4.20 million)
A dead body is discovered in the store on Halloween, throwing Glenn and Dina into a panic and confusing the shoppers. Amy and Garrett get into big trouble using a dating app on Jonah's phone, Mateo is transformed in more ways than one by Cheyenne. (Viewers: 4.61 million)
As Mateo turns to stranger and stranger home remedies for an ear infection, Amy and Jonah decide to offer an alternative to Cloud 9's terrible health insurance plan. Glenn enlists Dina to help him get medical attention for his own embarrassing condition. (Viewers: 3.54 million)
Trying to prove how wild she can be, Amy turns a boring Christmas Eve at the store into a holiday adventure. Jonah and Garrett's roommate issues boil over and Glenn tries to prove to Mateo that Christmas is more than just fine. (Viewers: 4.41 million)
After an employee posts a controversial video online, Dina enlists Cheyenne to help police the rest of the staff's social media accounts. Amy learns something about Jonah that drives her to desperately pursue Instagram views, and Glenn suspects Mateo of rewards card fraud. (Viewers: 3.90 million)
When Amy throws a party to prove how great she's doing post-divorce, she's forced to enlist Dina and Jonah's help, and Dina ends up making the ultimate sacrifice. Glenn and his wife Jerusha are forced to conduct some personal business at Amy's home. (Viewers: 3.85 million)
When Jeff announces that the store could be getting an upgrade, Amy, Jonah and Dina set out to discover the pros and cons. Cheyenne accidentally volunteers to be a surrogate mother for Glenn's baby and tries to get out of it. (Viewers: 3.71 million)
Amy finds herself caught in the middle of a conflict between Cheyenne and her ex-convict mom, Brandi. A personal agreement between Glenn and Dina gets heated when Glenn brings in a lawyer. When Jonah finds out that Kelly believes in angels, Garrett's perfect weekend plans of having the apartment to himself are threatened. (Viewers: 4.22 million)
Still fresh from her divorce, Amy doesn't feel ready to start dating again. But when Mateo tries to set her up with his loser cousin, she gets determined to show everyone she can do better and breaks some hearts in the process. Dina takes advantage of her pregnancy to scam Glenn into accommodating her every whim. (Viewers: 3.46 million)
When gamers invade the store for the release of a hot new video game, Jonah tries to help Amy secure herself a copy of the game, which takes them on an unexpected adventure. Mateo helps Garrett make a good impression on one of his heroes. Glenn and Sandra try to stand up for themselves with customers and end up instigating a breastfeeding "nurse-in." (Viewers: 3.38 million)
When Mateo gets injured, Jonah tries to help him avoid Cloud 9 compensation for fear of his immigration status being revealed. Meanwhile, Amy attempts to convince everyone that she likes Kelly. (Viewers: 3.37 million)
Glenn and Dina offer amnesty to all the employees for any bad things they confess so Garrett and Cheyenne try to decide how to take advantage of it. Meanwhile, Jonah and Amy try to defuse an awkward situation that has the whole store gossiping. (Viewers: 3.93 million)
When Jeff leaves Cloud 9 to work at Target, Garrett leads Glenn to believe that he's poaching other employees to go with him. In return Glenn tries to poach employees from Target. Amy goes on a double date with Dina and, Kelly and Jonah discuss moving in together. (Viewers: 3.85 million)
Laurie, the new district manager, visits the store and decides to make some cuts to save money by firing Myrtle. Amy and Jonah plead with her to not fire anyone and search for other ways to make up the money. Mateo struggles to prove his skills on the cash register. (Viewers: 2.94 million)
When local small businesses set up shop inside Cloud 9, Glenn tries to help his wife Jerusha sell her handmade needlepoint, despite Jonah's concerns that he's pressuring his employees. Meanwhile, Amy doesn't feel Latina enough when a guy flirts with her in Spanish, and Garrett tries to uncover the truth behind a beer vendor's product. (Viewers: 3.17 million)
As lottery mania sweeps the store, Dina incentivizes the employees to sell as many tickets as possible. Jonah helps Amy track down the new district manager to lobby for a raise. (Viewers: 3.08 million)
The store hosts a gender reveal party for Glenn and his wife Jerusha, just as Dina is freaking out at the realities of having to deliver a baby. Amy receives some unsettling news. (Viewers: 2.76 million)
As the store prepares to host a company-wide Town Hall meeting, Amy and Jonah are forced to put their conflicts aside and rally their co-workers to confront the CEO. Glenn struggles with the pressure of speaking to a global audience. (Viewers: 2.97 million)