In the Break Room, Glenn can't get the staff's attention so Dina smacks a table. Glenn announces that a reporter from Cloud 9's magazine "Stratus" will be visiting to do an article on the store. Everyone except Mateo is apathetic. Amy calls the magazine "corporate propaganda" while Cheyenne sees there is a jingle writing contest that her fiancé Bo could enter. Glenn asks for everyone to behave well, tells Sal to reduce his creepiness and for Garrett to not call him names. Dina expresses her hatred for reporters and warns Glenn to keep the reporter away from her.
Mateo's excited about the visit.
At customer service, Garrett tells Jonah to let him know when the reporter arrives so he can hide. "Stratus" loves to showcase disabled employees and Garrett wants no part of it. When Jonah comments that being black and disabled would be the "holy grail" for the magazine, Garrett messes with Jonah. In men's wear, Glenn shows Amy a hip new suit he plans to wear for the interview. Amy fetches Mateo and Jonah to help make over Glenn so that he'll be confident and the "star" for once. Amy and Mateo give advice that focuses on appearance while Jonah disagrees and thinks the reporter will be interested in ideas Glenn has to improve the store. Amy and Glenn disagree with Jonah. Bo is writing his jingle which is very aggressive and full of cliché political and social catch phrases. Cheyenne asks him to tone it down and to remember that they are doing this for their baby. Bo agrees.
The reporter Cynthia arrives with a Photographer. Dina intercepts Cynthia and warns her that she'll be watching her every move on the security cameras. Glenn is extremely nervous and botches the introductions. Amy and Mateo cover for him and lead Cynthia on a tour. The Photographer spots Garrett who quickly rolls away. Glenn is giving a boring tour so Cynthia asks for something interesting. Jonah interrupts and tries to sell off some ideas that Cynthia likes as Glenn's but when Glenn can't come up with his own ideas, she walks away. Jonah walks with and impresses her with his ideas so much that she asks for his name for the article. Glenn tries to interject but Cynthia forgets his name and walks off with Jonah. The Photographer catches up with Garrett and when Garrett won't answer his question, he thinks Garrett is deaf.
Welcome to meeting me.
At Coffee & Bakery, Amy consoles Glenn. Jonah walks over and tries to convince Glenn to come with him to see Cynthia but Glenn feels he can't compete with Jonah. Amy suggests that Cynthia's interest in Jonah is due to his looks not his ideas. This cheers Glenn up and he and Amy poke fun at Jonah as he walks away. Bo's second jingle attempt is better at the start but again devolves into harsh clichés. He hates Cheyenne's description "catchy" and she has to plead harder for him to cut out the harsh parts. After Jonah has a creepy encounter with Sal in the Stock Room, Cynthia enters. Jonah tries to convince her to talk to Glenn but she's interested in Jonah and for more than his ideas. Cynthia kisses Jonah and he responds. In the Surveillance Office, Dina sees the tryst and is angered.
You look like a Jewish Kennedy.
Garrett is helping a customer and has to show both his middle fingers in order to prevent the Photographer from taking his picture. A staff member cleaning a broken pickle jar eats one of the pickles. (♫ Meat Puppets – Backwater ♫) Amy interrupts Jonah wiping off lipstick and apologies for poking fun at him and explains she was trying to cheer Glenn up. Jonah condescendingly accepts her apology. Dina calls an emergency meeting in the Break Room to review inappropriate sexual behaviour in the store. She asks if anyone has anything to say and looks at Jonah. Sandra confesses that she and Sal are having sex in the dressing rooms. Dina tells her to shut up and then shows the security camera video of Jonah and Cynthia kissing in the Stock Room. The staff hoot, Amy really makes fun of Jonah and Mateo implies Jonah did this to get ahead. Dina believes Jonah was assaulted and is a victim so hugs him and asks for the staff's understanding.
Is that how people really kiss now?
Mateo comes onto Cynthia in the hopes she'll mention him in the article. Dina confronts Cynthia and tells her to never return and threatens her. Glenn tries to get the Photographer to take his picture but he's not interested until Garrett offers to pose with Glenn. Bo and Cheyenne plays Bo's jingle for her that is now inoffensive. Cynthia calls it "catchy". Bo is upset when he hears the word but chokes down his anger and says thanks. Cheyenne can see him holding back and says that Bo isn't going to "sell out" even for millions of dollars. Cynthia tells them the prize is a $10 Cloud 9 gift card. They walk away in triumph. Their shift over, Amy catches Jonah in the parking lot leaving to go to Cynthia's hotel room. Days later in the Break Room, Glenn unpacks the issue of "Stratus" with the article on the store. Glenn and Garrett are on the cover but Glenn's face is covered. He's excited anyways.
I made the cover!
Amy's name tag: Amy wears a different name tag in every episode. For this one it's "Diana".
This was intended to be the sixth episode of the series, to be aired January 25th, 2016. As a result, there are several continuity errors:
Sandra admits she is hooking up with Sal in this episode. In the following episode, however, she says Sal has made comments about her appearance and she finds him repulsive.
The employees "finally" watch a sexual harassment video in this episode. In the following episode, it is implied that the sexual harassment video has yet to be watched.
This episode was initially called "Profile" and aired at 10:30pm EST.
Goof: At the episode beginning, Garrett shows Jonah several copies of the Cloud 9 internal corporate magazine "Stratus". One of the issues features Matt Brown and is Issue 28. However, after being interviewed by Stratus reporter Cynthia and photographed, the new issue featuring Glenn and Garrett is Issue 27.
“Framples! Instead of saying, "free samples", we should just say "framples". Wait I have another one! "Shart." For "shopping cart".”— Glenn
“I can't compete with these geisha features. He looks like a panda and a Disney princess had a baby!”— Glenn
“Don't think of it as selling out, think of it as cashing in.”— Cheyenne
Amy feels competitive when Glenn publicly congratulates Jonah on his superb employee test results. Cloud 9 employees are on their best behavior in anticipation of a secret shopper. (Viewers: 5.66 million)