|"Grand Re-Opening": Mateo is concerned to hear from Amy that Jeff is coming to the store for the re-opening having broken up with him and then called him during the tornado to say he was still in love with him. Mateo wonders aloud to Cheyenne what he's going to say to Jeff and whether Jeff got his message. Cheyenne says they should recreate the tornado sounds with a big fan and test if Mateo can be heard over it. Mateo is sitting by a large fan and yelling "I love you!" on his phone to Cheyenne to test if she can hear him. A cute construction worker walks by and Mateo tries to explain the situation to him. In the parking lot, Jeff shows up and is wearing a toupee which causes everyone including Mateo to gape at him. After the store re-opens, Mateo approaches Jeff in the grocery section and finds out he's back with his ex. Mateo insults his toupee and leaves.
"Brett Is Dead": Mateo cuts his finger while he and Cheyenne are putting security locks on DVDs. Glenn asks how they are and when Mateo responds negatively, he thinks they are mourning Brett and offers them a break to reflect. They both fake loss and speak of their relationship with Brett in order to get time off work. In the Break Room, Mateo and Cheyenne are looking at their phones when Glenn enters. They fake sorrow and Glenn says he wants to write a tribute for Brett for the store newsletter. Since they indicated they knew him well, Glenn asks personal questions about Brett to which they make up answers. When Glenn calls everyone into the Break Room to deal with Dina's anxiety over the tornado, Mateo relates his trauma which is watching his brother (Rodrigo) drown in the South China Sea.
"Part-Time Hires": Mateo asks a construction worker about Scott as Cheyenne watches. Mateo plans to bump into Scott when he comes into the store. Kelly asks Mateo for advice but he sees Scott and shoos her away so he can flirt with him. Scott and Mateo are flirting and on departing, Scott asks for Mateo's employee card so he can use the employee bathroom. Mateo relents and Cheyenne suggests he's being used but Mateo thinks Scott is truly interested in him. Scott is disappointed when he asks for Mateo's employee card again and Mateo refuses. After flirting with Cheyenne, Scott enters the employee bathroom and shows Mateo her card. As Mateo and Cheyenne watch Scott flirt with Carol for use of her employee card, they wonder why he needs to go to the bathroom so much.
"Workplace Bullying": After the store is robbed, Amy sets up "parking lot buddies". Sarcastically, Mateo says he'll be paired with Justine because robbers will kill her first but he actually wants Cheyenne to be his partner. Amy is envious when she finds that many of the staff go to a trivia night after work. When Jeff calls the staff into the Break Room to discuss the robbery, Mateo is jealous when Jeff praises Jonah's inaction during the robbery and sarcastically says Jeff should just sleep with Jonah. In the Break Room, Amy tries to impress Cheyenne, Mateo and Kelly with her trivia knowledge. She sees Mateo eating a turkey sandwich and points out the Earl of Sandwich invented sandwiches. Later when Jeff again gathers the staff in the Break Room to talk about bullying, Mateo complains that all Jeff got for him on his birthday was a cake from the store bakery. As Mateo and Cheyenne get ready to leave, Amy has an outburst as to why she's not included in trivia night. Mateo asks why she's going all "Real Housewives" and says she should just come.
"Sal's Dead": On Halloween, Mateo is initially dressed as a 1950's milk delivery man. Cheyenne is face-painting children when Mateo informs her that one of his cousins is getting married in the Philippines and he's frustrated he can't go due to his undocumented status. He's always wanted to take an Instagram photo of the wing of the plane. When emptying Sal's locker, Cheyenne finds Sal's passport and Cheyenne tells Mateo that she'll make him up to look like Sal so he can go to the wedding in the Philippines. Cheyenne makes up Mateo to look like Sal while quizzing him on Sal's personal facts. Cheyenne finishes making up Mateo and he is thrilled with how good a job she's done. He looks in the mirror and in a creepy voice says "One ticket to Manila please". At the make-up counter, as Cheyenne talks to Mateo, he makes an inappropriate remark to a customer. Cheyenne postulates that Mateo is starting to act like Sal since he is dressed and looks like him. Mateo doesn't agree but then makes a creepy remark while holding a grape to his tongue. As Mateo is helping an older woman try on shoes, he rubs her foot against his face. He realizes Cheyenne was right about him becoming like Sal and returns Sal's passport to her. He plans to wash the makeup off before he becomes Sal.
"Health Fund": In the Break Room, Mateo is groaning due to an ear infection which prompts many staff to propose home remedies. Amy makes a collection jar for Mateo. At the Pharmacy, Mateo asks Tate for meds without doctor's authorization to which Tate indignantly refuses. He then beckons Mateo to a side counter where there is a blind spot from the store's cameras and asks him what he wants. Tate pulls out a pill stash, samples one himself, retrieves antibiotics for Mateo and arranges for payment. Later, Marcus pours root beer into Mateo's ear to fix the infection. Garrett gives Mateo the collection jar which he decides to use to buy an expensive faux Gucci bag instead of treating his ear infection.
"Christmas Eve": As the staff are helping Glenn with Christmas lights, Mateo comments that Christmas is over-hyped which dismays Glenn. Glenn opines that Christmas is about looking back at the year's events which leads the staff to remember the many bad things that have happened. Glenn tries to get Mateo in the Christmas spirit by taking him to a hot cocoa station in the store but Mateo doesn't want any. Glenn is determined to show Mateo Christmas is more than fine and spots a soldier, Hank, and a pregnant woman kissing. Believing this to be a magical moment, he asks about them and finds out the soldier accidentally shot a service animal and the baby may not be his. Mateo drags Glenn away as the couple argue. Glenn drags Mateo to see the child on Santa Garrett's lap and improve his Christmas spirit but they witness the end of Garrett and Jonah's argument punctuated with Jonah stomping off and kicking a giant candy cane. Glenn gets the store Christmas lights working and the dazzling display puts Mateo into the spirit.
"Viral Video": Glenn shows Garrett that a mass email he sent to the store's rewards (Blue Card) customers resulted in many being undeliverable which makes him suspect that Mateo is committing fraud in order to get the $1 sign-up bonus. In Glenn's Office, Glenn asks Mateo if he made up rewards customers names which Mateo denies. Mateo reveals to Garrett that he has been creating fake Blue Card accounts. He creates a fake website for one of the fake customers to trick Glenn but Glenn recognizes the customer picture as a movie actor. Mateo has Jonah call the store pretending to be one of the fake Blue Card customers. Glenn takes the call thinking it is Mateo and insults him until Mateo appears beside Glenn. Glenn apologizes to Mateo for accusing him of signing up fake customers and offers to take him to lunch. As they are about to go to lunch in Glenn's car, Glenn mentions that the customer who called house is along the way to the restaurant so he'd like to drop by. Mateo calls Glenn's bluff. Glenn and Mateo arrive at the address of the fake customer's business which is a private residence. Even after a woman answers who knows nothing of the business, Mateo refuses to admit to his lie. Arriving back at the store, Mateo finally admits to Glenn he made up the customer and says he's sorry. When Glenn doesn't believe Mateo is repentant, Mateo asks what he as to do to prove it. Glenn says he needs to make a phone call. Glenn is seen immersing Mateo in a baptismal pool in Life's Works Church in order to forgive his sins.
"Golden Globes Party": In the Break Room, Jonah, Mateo and Garrett are placing bets on what will happen at that evening's Golden Globe Awards. Justine asks where they'll be watching the Awards and Amy is surprised as she always hosts a party for it. Mateo believes Amy's life is in a shambles. Amy assures everyone her life is fine, that she'll host and will be BBQing. At Amy's house, she cloyingly asks Garrett and Mateo if they are having a good time and insists they call the party drinks by names she's made for them from TV and other cultural references. Kelly tries to bond with Dina, Garrett and Mateo but doesn't know any of the famous commercials they are referring to and ends up alienating herself. Mateo tells Amy that the TV isn't working. Garrett can't fix the TV so Mateo asks Amy to call Adam for help but she refuses. Mateo wants to leave but Sandra arrives with Jerry who clearly shouldn't be out of the hospital. With no TV, no food and Kelly trying to teach everyone a confusing game, Mateo and Garrett have had enough and lead everyone in leaving. Dina stands up and yells that everyone has to stay, stop complaining and have fun. Everyone sits down in silence and banging noises can be heard coming from Amy's bedroom. The party over, outside Kelly is overjoyed when Garrett and Mateo invite her to a restaurant to watch the Golden Globes after parties.
"High Volume Store": Mateo is in the Break Room as Jeff announces that $80,000 more sales by day end will result in the store being re-classified as "quadruple A". He insults the size of Jeff's forehead. Kelly tries to sell a TV but can't answer the customer's question and is helped by Mateo. When Amy gathers the staff for a meeting in the Warehouse to convince them not to become a "Quad-A" store, Mateo is concerned that if the store does become "Quad-A", there won't be any time to clean the store. Amy assigns him to sports. In order to discourage sales, Mateo stops a customer from buying shrimp. In the Break Room after the sales target is accidentally reached, the staff sit depressed and try to accept the store will be "Quad-A". Mateo frets over when the store will be cleaned.
"Angels and Mermaids": Mateo spends the entire day in the Break Room. He helps Cheyenne with items for a mermaid theme birthday party. As Marcus leads the staff in classifying various beings as real, mythical or extinct, Mateo points out there were two separate Chupacabra sightings in Mexico. He also tells Marcus that reindeer are real and he saw one at Christmas in the store. He listens raptly to Kelly's angel story and when Jonah questions it and offends Kelly, he says "trouble in paradise" to Garrett. Mateo watches Glenn use Sandra as his new surrogate and Dina use Marcus to threaten she might get pregnant, calls a stop to the charade and gets them to agree to Dina being Glenn's surrogate again.
"Groundhog Day": At the Pharmacy, Tate treats Amy's groundhog bite while Cheyenne gives Amy kudos for Devon flirting with her. Tate makes derogatory comments on Amy getting back into dating and Mateo offers to set Amy up with one of his five single cousins. Mateo pretends that his awkward cousin Castor wants to speak to Amy as a customer but Amy quickly gathers that it is a setup and leaves. In the Break Room, Amy objects to Mateo trying to set her up with Castor and suggests his more attractive cousin Rogelio is in her league and asks for Cheyenne's confirmation which she doesn't give. Mateo tells Amy that she's not a "10" due to her age, being divorced and having a child. As Cheyenne and Mateo rate various employees including Tate as a "10" and Justine as a "3", Amy is aghast when Mateo says that Amy rates just a little higher than Justine. Mateo tries to set Amy up with another cousin and when Amy passes, Cheyenne says she needs to start dating again. Amy reveals she hooked up the night and reveals it was Tate. Since they rated Tate a "10" she says they should "do the math" on her rating. As Tate and Marcus confront Amy and she's made to look promiscuous, Mateo is angry since she turned down dating his cousins.
"Video Game Release": Inside the store, Dina announces the release of a new video game "Barbarians Gate 3" to the staff. Sandra says she creates a family when playing The Sims which evokes an incredulous response from Mateo. Garrett sees Mateo talking to Erick (who he idolizes) and wants to know everything they said. Mateo repeats their small talk in a mocking manner. In the Break Room, Glenn discusses the "nurse-in" protest by breastfeeding mothers. Marcus wants to know if he can expose his penis in the store which Mateo mocks. At the Pharmacy, Garrett butters up Mateo and asks for help becoming friends with Erick. In the Break Room, Mateo has arranged for he and Garrett to have a beer with Erick. Erick says the situation is cool but Garrett breaks down and rants that it's not cool as he isn't comfortable with his own hero-worshipping of Erick. He insults Erick and leaves. Mateo says to Erick that Garrett actually is the cool one in the store.
"Safety Training": Marcus tries to convince Jonah, Garrett and Mateo to invest in human cheese but Mateo is distracted by a customer he likes. A sign Kelly put up crashes onto Mateo as he approaches the customer he likes. Some staff gathers around Mateo as he is icing his wrist. Marcus and Justine both tell Mateo they received a settlement when they were hurt. Mateo doesn't consider himself a good negotiator so Jonah volunteers to help him. In the Break Room, Jeff offers Mateo a $1000 settlement. Jonah negotiates lamely and then says they'll take it. As Jonah and Mateo look through the fine print of the settlement document, they discover that a background check is required which will reveal Mateo's undocumented status so they inform Jeff they are turning down the offer. Jeff approaches Jonah and Mateo and offers a higher settlement figure which he says is the final offer. When they turn him down, he keeps offering higher figures which to his frustration are refused. In Glenn's Office, Jeff's boss is on the phone and Mateo is offered $50,000. When this is refused, Jeff and Mateo argue about their past relationship which embarrasses Jeff in front of his boss. In the hallway, Jeff gives Mateo a settlement check of $10,000 and considers the matter settled. When Mateo still refuses to accept it, Jeff accuses him of trying to make him look bad in front of his boss. Mateo admits that he is undocumented and that is the reason he can't accept the check and why he broke up with Jeff.
"Amnesty": In the store, Mateo tells Cheyenne that he revealed his undocumented status to Jeff who left without commenting on it. He's worried that Jeff has reported him but Cheyenne doesn't think this has happened. Mateo is reluctant to participate in the amnesty and is worried Dina or Glenn may report confessed actions to corporate or the government. Mateo leaves Jeff a voice mail asking if he's done anything now that he knows about Mateo's undocumented status. Mateo is the first to participate in the amnesty but is evasive in revealing his undocumented status to Dina and Glenn. When Glenn admits there was no fireable offence, Mateo asks if Jeff said anything and deflects Dina's question. At Coffee & Bakery, as Mateo leaves a voice mail for Jeff's boyfriend Chad looking for Jeff, Jeff surprises Mateo and tells him he quit his job. Mateo realizes Jeff hasn't reported his undocumented status. He asks Mateo out for a drink and they leave hand in hand.
"Target": A going away party is held in the Break Room for Jeff. Mateo also considers it a celebration of he and Jeff dating again. Jeff says he working at Target now and after a disagreement with Glenn, he marches into the store and standing on a movable ladder, asks who'd like to join Target. Mateo wonders why he want any of the staff since he always says they are incompetent and Jeff admits to Mateo he's doing this out of spite. Mateo happens upon Jonah and Kelly setting up the furniture display and when they lie that Glenn asked them to set it up, he thinks Glenn is mad at him because of Jeff. Jeff approaches Mateo who is setting up a new furniture display. Mateo knows Jeff lied about having a job and wishes he hadn't picked Target for his lie.
"District Manager": Due to new district manager Laurie being in the store, Mateo approaches Garrett and Cheyenne worried about his low score at checkout. He claims Garrett's score is better than his from all the video games Garrett plays and then insults sci-fi, angering Garrett. At checkout, Mateo can't get the scanner to work on a food can. In the Break Room, he expresses his frustration to Garrett and Cheyenne. Garrett convinces him to change his checkout stats on Glenn's computer. In Glenn's Office, Garrett accesses Mateo's personnel file on Glenn's computer and changes his checkout stat (UPM score). Mateo wonders if the score is now too high but Garrett convinces him to make the score impressive. In the Break Room as staff posit whether it is sexist to call a woman a bitch who is acting like one, Mateo says that the gays took the word "bitch". Laurie approaches Cheyenne, Garrett and Mateo about Mateo's very high UPM score. Garrett suggests that Mateo should demonstrate his checkout technique and Mateo realizes Garrett has set him up for failure due to him insulting sci-fi. At a checkout, Mateo stalls demonstrating his scanning technique including turning off the cash register until Cheyenne turns it back on. He then claims he was stung by a bee and runs off.
"Local Vendors Day": Marcus is selling "boob cheese" made of human milk which he tells Mateo he mainly sources from stealing baby bottles. After Alex talks to Amy in rapid Spanish and she says yes to a question she doesn't understand, Amy discusses her conversation with Cheyenne, Dina and Mateo. They aren't helpful in translating what Amy thinks Alex said. As they discuss Alex, Mateo says that just because Amy has a racial preference for dating doesn't mean she's racist. When Glenn asks staff in the Break Room if they're sure they don't want to buy anything from Jerusha's craft table, he suggests to Mateo that he'd look good in a scarf. Mateo doesn't want one and says he doesn't cover up his neck as it's his best feature.
"Lottery": After Glenn announces that the Missouri Lottery jackpot is the most it has been in 20 years. Mateo and Cheyenne's lottery dream would to both buy an island. While picking lottery numbers, Cheyenne and Mateo agree to buy their tickets together so they can remain friends if they win. At Coffee & Bakery, Cheyenne and Mateo ponder whether to get lottery winnings in installments and fantasize about who'd they invite on a yacht if they win the lottery. As Glenn gives a Cloud 9 personal budgeting session to the staff, Mateo points out the budget only allows $4/day for food and Cheyenne says there is no allowance for child care or medical treatment. As Cheyenne and Mateo continue to talk about their dream yacht, Sandra tells them they wouldn't win as much as they think due to taxes and other factors which disappoints them. The staff and customers watch the lottery draw on the store's TVs and when they don't win, Cheyenne and Mateo mask their disappointment.
"Gender Reveal": Jeff, now sporting a moustache, surprises Mateo and maintains the ruse with Jonah that he's working for Target. Jeff leaves to shop and Mateo tells Jonah that Jeff is jobless. Jeff figures out that Jonah knows his ruse and Mateo discusses this with Jonah. Mateo doesn't want to ask Jeff to find a job (as Jeff quit Cloud 9 for Mateo) so Jonah offers to. Jonah finds Jeff talking to Mateo and encourages him to find a job. Jeff wants to find what makes him happy which Mateo supports and so Jonah relents. In private, Mateo is angry at Jonah as Jonah was supposed to be the "bad cop" and insist on Jeff finding a job. In hiking gear, Jeff approaches Jonah and Mateo. Jonah forcefully tells Jeff he needs to stop dreaming and get a job while Mateo play acts supporting Jeff. Mateo continues to tie into Jonah but Jeff stops him and gives in to getting a job. He is so despondent that when Jonah keeps playing "bad cop", Mateo asks him to stop and Jonah relents. In private, Mateo is angry again at Jonah for not playing his role. At the party, Mateo watches Jeff in a fishing hat talk to Cheyenne and rues their economic down turn.
"Aftermath": In the Break Room, Glenn gives morning announcements, Amy tell everyone she's pregnant. Mateo says he could tell because of the way Amy ate many taquitos the week before. Mateo is in the front row of the group photo and is wearing a suit as he "wants to shine" which Cheyenne says makes him look like an car freshener. Mateo leaves $20 on floor for Amy and pretends someone dropped it. Amy says she doesn't need charity and Bo tries to take the money and struggles with Mateo. Filming of the staff video continues with Mateo who overacts how he felt when the tornado hit the store. He then gives a convincing performance which moves Glenn but the camera is turned off. In the Break Room, Amy tells Cheyenne how Alex took the pregnancy news. When Mateo overhears that Adam offered to get back together with Amy but she doesn't want to, he can't believe she'd choose being alone over Adam. Mateo watches the staff video and is enthusiastic with the outcome.
"Town Hall": In the Break Room, as Laurie goes over the forbidden topics at the town hall, Mateo says he going to ask the CEO the craziest rich person thing he's ever done. In the Warehouse, Amy and Jonah share their discovery that Cloud 9 is unfairly firing older employees with a number of staff. Mateo says that Todd's wife is beautiful and asks how they are going to get an incriminating email from Laurie's phone. Cheyenne and Mateo makes plan to disguise Jeff to get him into the town hall and then are condescending towards Garrett's much more difficult plan to patch a hidden camera into the company's camera feed at the town hall. Jeff tells Cheyenne he feels stupid in the disguise she planned for him so Mateo encourages him. When Jeff takes off his disguise at the town hall, Cheyenne exclaims as she forget he was in disguise. After Jeff betrays the staff and lies why Myrtle was fired in order to get a job at Cloud 9 HQ, he approaches the staff and Mateo implies he's a traitor. He tries to convince them that his promotion is a good thing for everyone as they now have a man on the "inside top". Cheyenne asks if he'll get Myrtle her job back but Jeff is evasive. The staff look at him with disgust and Mateo rebuffs Jeff's kiss.