Season: Three — Episode: 16 Director: Daniella Eisman — Writer: Jonathan Green and Gabe Miller — Aired: March 22, 2018 — Viewers (millions): 3.85 Summary: When Jeff leaves Cloud 9 to work at Target, Garrett leads Glenn to believe that he's poaching other employees to go with him. In return Glenn tries to poach employees from Target. Amy goes on a double date with Dina and, Kelly and Jonah discuss moving in together.
If you respect me, I'll respect you. But if you start trying to pooch my people, then we are going to have a problem.
— Glenn to Jeff
A going away party is held in the Break Room for Jeff. Mateo also considers it a celebration of he and Jeff dating again while Dina celebrates not having to work with Jeff. Glenn reminisces a bland story about Jeff which causes Sandra to relate intimate details about her fake relationship with Jeff. Glenn mentions to Jeff that the café is popular with the unemployed but Jeff says he's a manager at a Target store. He kids with Glenn about being the competition and they play fight until Glenn accidentally punches Jeff in the throat. In the store, Glenn tells Amy, Justine and Mateo he's worried as Jeff knows all the store's secrets and will be stiff competition. In the Break Room, Jonah and Kelly are looking on a laptop for a place to move in together but Jonah continually finds fault with all the options which Garrett finds annoying.
Frankly, this is a mismatch.
Dina approaches Amy and tells her that she's having lunch with a guy from a pet store (Hank). Hank is bringing a friend so in a condescending manner, Dina encourages Amy to come along but she passes. Garrett enters Glenn's Office and asks Glenn for a raise but Glenn is so worried about Target that he rebuffs Garrett. Garrett lies that Jeff offered him more money to work at Target so Glenn calls Jeff and leaves an angry voice mail that they need to meet. A customer can't leave an aisle because an incredibly long line of shopping carts are being pushed by. (♫ Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made for Walkin' ♫) In the Break Room, Amy catches Dina showing Justine a picture of the man she tried to set up with Amy. Justine enthusiastically wants to go on the double date but when Amy sees the black and white picture, she changes her mind and accepts over Justine's protests. The double date is at a restaurant and Amy finds out her date, Walter, is very old.
His older sister babysat me.
Jeff arrives for his meeting with Glenn and is intercepted by Garrett who unsuccessfully tries to get him to dispense with the meeting. At the restaurant, Amy finds out Walter knows Hank because Hank's sister babysat him. At the store, Jonah and Kelly tape a floor plan of their ideal living room but Jonah insists they need to try it out with furniture. In Glenn's Office, Glenn tells Jeff that they need to agree to not "pooch" (poach) each other's staff. Jeff agrees but Glenn still takes offence and continually sprays Jeff with water from a squirt bottle. Incensed, Jeff leaves and says he will poach Glenn's staff. At the lunch, Dina sees the Ozark Highlands store beverage supplier come into the restaurant so Amy makes the excuse that she needs to talk to him for work reasons. She explains to the supplier (Alex) that she's on a terrible date and he agrees to pretend to talk to her so she can avoid the date. A customer continuously drops items from an overloaded armful. (♫ Gavin DeGraw - I Don't Want to Be ♫)
We need to go 3D.
Earl helps deliver a couch for the furniture display. Jonah sits but complains more furniture is needed. Jeff marches into the store and standing on a movable ladder, asks who'd like to join Target. Jeff admits to Mateo he's doing this out of spite. Glenn tries to sing over Jeff's speech while Justine and Sandra express their admiration for Target. Sandra offers to go to Target and Glenn gloats that Jeff can't poach Garrett. Glenn announces that Jeff is banned from the store and starts pushing the ladder towards the exit. Mateo happens upon Jonah and Kelly setting up the furniture display and when they lie that Glenn asked them to set it up, he thinks Glenn is mad at him because of Jeff. At the restaurant, Amy and Alex start to bond and laugh over Amy's situation. Glenn and Garrett visit the Target Jeff said he works at intent on poaching staff. Glenn is impressed with the store.
You hate most of the people who work here.
Dina interrupts Amy and Alex and pulls Amy back to the table. A customer eats out of a bulk bin with a scoop. (♫ The Go-Go's - Vacation ♫) The furniture display now has many items which Jonah finds cramped. Kelly confronts him and asks if he really wants to move in together. He says he does and admits that the situation with Amy was part of the reason for his behaviour. Glenn and Garrett try to poach a number of Target employees but are unsuccessful as Target offers higher employee discounts and the Ozarks Highlands Superstore has a bad reputation. (♫ Portugal. The Man - Live In the Moment ♫) Glenn forces business cards on numerous staff, relates the store's romances and hates and deludes himself that the Target staff are poached. They approach a staff member from behind adjusting a baby stroller and Glenn screams when Cheyenne turns around.
Isn't that the store where they found a foot?
Cheyenne admits she works part-time at both stores to made extra money for college. Another reason she works at Target is that Harmonica gets to go to a good daycare. Jonah and Kelly re-affirm their commitment while squishing bread loaves. Jeff approaches Mateo who is setting up a new furniture display. Mateo knows Jeff lied about having a job and wishes he hadn't picked Target for his lie. Sandra, dressed in a Target uniform overhears their conversation and disappointed, runs off to find Glenn. At Target, while eating popcorn, Glenn commiserates with Garrett that they work at an inferior store. Owen, a Target employee, tells them they can't eat on store display furniture but Cheyenne explains that they are her friends. Owen has heard Cheyenne speak of Glenn but not Garrett. Owen doesn't know who Jeff is which Glenn takes to mean Jeff doesn't matter. At the store, Dina tells Amy that Walter likes her. Dina brags about the sex she'll be having later but Amy isn't paying attention as she sees Alex come into the store. Alex makes an excuse that he's delivering on a day he doesn't usually deliver because his boss told him to but Amy realizes he came to see her.
Here you are!
Amy's name tag: Amy wears a different name tag in every episode. For this one it's "Sam".
Crazy Customers and music: For all customer interludes and music see Target (music).
Emma gets a job at the store and Amy asks Jonah for parenting advise. Garrett and Dina argue over who broke up with whom, a cute construction worker flirts with Mateo, Cheyenne and Carol for store perks; Kelly has a rough first day. (Viewers: 4.33 million)
After an attempted robbery, tensions arise between Dina and Jonah. Glenn has a tough time firing a store security guard and Amy discovers her coworkers have been hanging out without her. (Viewers: 4.20 million)
A dead body is discovered in the store on Halloween, throwing Glenn and Dina into a panic and confusing the shoppers. Amy and Garrett get into big trouble using a dating app on Jonah's phone, Mateo is transformed in more ways than one by Cheyenne. (Viewers: 4.61 million)
As Mateo turns to stranger and stranger home remedies for an ear infection, Amy and Jonah decide to offer an alternative to Cloud 9's terrible health insurance plan. Glenn enlists Dina to help him get medical attention for his own embarrassing condition. (Viewers: 3.54 million)
Trying to prove how wild she can be, Amy turns a boring Christmas Eve at the store into a holiday adventure. Jonah and Garrett's roommate issues boil over and Glenn tries to prove to Mateo that Christmas is more than just fine. (Viewers: 4.41 million)
After an employee posts a controversial video online, Dina enlists Cheyenne to help police the rest of the staff's social media accounts. Amy learns something about Jonah that drives her to desperately pursue Instagram views, and Glenn suspects Mateo of rewards card fraud. (Viewers: 3.90 million)
When Amy throws a party to prove how great she's doing post-divorce, she's forced to enlist Dina and Jonah's help, and Dina ends up making the ultimate sacrifice. Glenn and his wife Jerusha are forced to conduct some personal business at Amy's home. (Viewers: 3.85 million)
When Jeff announces that the store could be getting an upgrade, Amy, Jonah and Dina set out to discover the pros and cons. Cheyenne accidentally volunteers to be a surrogate mother for Glenn's baby and tries to get out of it. (Viewers: 3.71 million)
Amy finds herself caught in the middle of a conflict between Cheyenne and her ex-convict mom, Brandi. A personal agreement between Glenn and Dina gets heated when Glenn brings in a lawyer. When Jonah finds out that Kelly believes in angels, Garrett's perfect weekend plans of having the apartment to himself are threatened. (Viewers: 4.22 million)
Still fresh from her divorce, Amy doesn't feel ready to start dating again. But when Mateo tries to set her up with his loser cousin, she gets determined to show everyone she can do better and breaks some hearts in the process. Dina takes advantage of her pregnancy to scam Glenn into accommodating her every whim. (Viewers: 3.46 million)
When gamers invade the store for the release of a hot new video game, Jonah tries to help Amy secure herself a copy of the game, which takes them on an unexpected adventure. Mateo helps Garrett make a good impression on one of his heroes. Glenn and Sandra try to stand up for themselves with customers and end up instigating a breastfeeding "nurse-in." (Viewers: 3.38 million)
When Mateo gets injured, Jonah tries to help him avoid Cloud 9 compensation for fear of his immigration status being revealed. Meanwhile, Amy attempts to convince everyone that she likes Kelly. (Viewers: 3.37 million)
Glenn and Dina offer amnesty to all the employees for any bad things they confess so Garrett and Cheyenne try to decide how to take advantage of it. Meanwhile, Jonah and Amy try to defuse an awkward situation that has the whole store gossiping. (Viewers: 3.93 million)
When Jeff leaves Cloud 9 to work at Target, Garrett leads Glenn to believe that he's poaching other employees to go with him. In return Glenn tries to poach employees from Target. Amy goes on a double date with Dina and, Kelly and Jonah discuss moving in together. (Viewers: 3.85 million)
Laurie, the new district manager, visits the store and decides to make some cuts to save money by firing Myrtle. Amy and Jonah plead with her to not fire anyone and search for other ways to make up the money. Mateo struggles to prove his skills on the cash register. (Viewers: 2.94 million)
When local small businesses set up shop inside Cloud 9, Glenn tries to help his wife Jerusha sell her handmade needlepoint, despite Jonah's concerns that he's pressuring his employees. Meanwhile, Amy doesn't feel Latina enough when a guy flirts with her in Spanish, and Garrett tries to uncover the truth behind a beer vendor's product. (Viewers: 3.17 million)
As lottery mania sweeps the store, Dina incentivizes the employees to sell as many tickets as possible. Jonah helps Amy track down the new district manager to lobby for a raise. (Viewers: 3.08 million)
The store hosts a gender reveal party for Glenn and his wife Jerusha, just as Dina is freaking out at the realities of having to deliver a baby. Amy receives some unsettling news. (Viewers: 2.76 million)
As the store prepares to host a company-wide Town Hall meeting, Amy and Jonah are forced to put their conflicts aside and rally their co-workers to confront the CEO. Glenn struggles with the pressure of speaking to a global audience. (Viewers: 2.97 million)